My iPhone notes have become home to endless chicken-scratch musings about my IVF experience, jotted down (sometimes angrily) when I experience something that others going through this experience need to know.
Naturally, I would be remiss not to share them here — lightly cleaned up, loosely categorized.
I hope they can help you as much as they have helped me.
Pick a doctor you like and trust as a person. Your journey with them could be much longer than you think.
Make sure you understand the expected outcomes for your unique situation — how many rounds of IVF might be needed to reach your family goals? If your doctor doesn’t tell you, ASK.
Relatedly, think about your goal for building your whole family, not just the first or next child. This can change your doctor’s recommendations, especially if you need to bank embryos.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If your doctor minimizes them or talks down to you, find a new one.
On that note, don’t be afraid to change doctors for any reason. Your doctor should want you to find a good match and even encourage second opinions.
A second opinion isn’t a bad thing, and doesn’t even have to mean you switch doctors. They’re a form of self-advocacy to ensure your best possible care.
If you are prescribed Follistim, each syringe has a fraction of a dose built in as leftover. Ask your nurse to reconstitute your leftovers from each syringe together into a new syringe — you can extract an additional full dose out of ~4 “empty” syringes.
Ask your nurse to send your prescription for stims medication to multiple pharmacies to compare prices. Pick the cheapest one. Especially if you need to do several rounds of IVF, this could save you thousands for the same meds.
Do your research and never hesitate to ask “why” so you understand everything that is going into and on with your body. Learn what each of the medications you’re prescribed actually do. You can’t control the process or the outcome, but understanding why you’re taking each step helps.
Having realistic expectations based on your own unique situation will make or break your experience.
You can’t out-maneuver infertility. Effort doesn’t change your outcome here. Relinquish control. So much is not up to you.
When it comes to lifestyle choices, do the things in your control, but don’t let them ruin your life. Think of it as becoming your healthiest self for your own sake, not just to get pregnant.
Don’t cancel the trip!!! Keep living your life — IVF can steal your joy before you even know it. Unless your doctor says so, one or two months won’t make or break you.
Tell your closest people what you’re going through so they can support you. Don’t suffer alone.
Paincakes to prep your injections. Trust me.
Give yourself permission to grieve when things don’t go how you expect. It is a special, brutal kind of loss. Don’t fight through it, use the mental health days if you can. It’ll improve your stress in the long run.
Have a game plan for what you’ll do if a cycle doesn’t go as planned. How will you take care of yourself? What’s your next step?
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