I’m Not Ready for the Day to Be Over

When I was on my solo hiking trip this summer, one of the things I looked forward to every day was dinner.

Partly because I didn’t have to make it for anyone else.

The entire meal could be centered around exactly what I wanted to eat. Of course I eat foods I enjoy at home, too, but there was a different kind of permission when there was absolutely no one else to consider. I would make my dinner, sit outside, and have a little dessert afterward.

And then sometimes, when it was over, I would notice this small feeling of disappointment.

Oh. That’s over.

There was nothing particularly wrong. I wasn’t still hungry. I had enjoyed the meal.

I just wasn’t quite ready for that part of the day to be finished.

I was talking about this recently with a client, an older woman who lives alone. She was telling me that she often continues eating in the evening even when she doesn’t feel physically hungry. And, like so many people, she had interpreted this as something she should probably get better at controlling.

But as we talked, we landed somewhere else: What if sometimes she just doesn’t want the day to be over?

There was an immediate recognition.

Yes. That’s it.