Dealing with Disappointment on Both Sides of The Camera

Human emotion is complex enough without the shame many of us carry about our bodies. My work meets that shame directly. Inevitably, that creates moments of tension with the people I photograph. Making art is also a personal process. I won’t always be satisfied with what I make.

When I express disappointment with a shoot, it is never about the person I photographed. I’ve worked with relatively few professional models and hundreds of first-timers. Modeling is hard. Knowing that, I believe my responsibility is to create the conditions for something honest to emerge—to help someone see themselves as beautiful without requiring mastery or performance. If that doesn’t happen, the failure is mine.

Most disappointments are practical. The light isn’t right. A prop falls flat. I arrive with an image in mind that proves too rigid. Some days I’m low-energy and don’t push far enough. Those things pass. Good days and bad days are part of the rhythm of making.

What unsettles me more is realizing I’ve brought an underdeveloped idea into the studio. A lack of imagination is harder to excuse than a failed prop. Still, even that fades. Often the images find their audience. Sometimes they find their subject in a way I couldn’t anticipate.

The more difficult moments come when someone asks me to take down an image that I’ve posted to social media. I never feel more pure fear than when that message arrives. If I believe in the photograph, I can remind myself that seeing one’s own body is complicated. Even so, the anxiety that surrounds the feeling of disappointing someone is incredibly potent. It has only happened a handful of times, but each instance stays with me.

I always remove the image. It may be my work, but it is their body. I know how hard it is to have a body.

The worst and rarest situation is when someone doesn’t like any of the images from a session. Occasionally this happens even when I feel the shoot was strong. There’s sadness in that—not rooted in failure but because I can’t share the work with the public. Rarest of all are the times when I send images thinking they are bad and model confirms those fears. Now I know I said that’s the worst, but it’s not that bad. There’s a clarity. I offer a free shoot. If they accept, I try again. If they decline, I move on.

In managing these difficult emotions, I always remember that all I can do is try my best. And I always try to try my best. I take comfort in that.

Announcements:

Hey, y’all! Thanks for reading. I’m planning to use this space to give little studio updates and calls to action every couple weeks. This time I want to mention that I’ve set a schedule for my next 4 First Friday events. They will be Mirror Cage, Tricolor, Bubbles, and Ultraviolet respectively. I put a link below where you can book, but before I do, I want to offer all my followers on here a little perk. If you use the promo code THANKS4READING at checkout, you can save 50% on any or all of those First Friday Sessions. It’s my way of saying thanks for joining me on this little journey of writing and discovery. I appreciate all of you! If you want to book a First Friday shoot (or four) Click Here and don’t forget that promo code! It will be good until June 6th so you can book later all the way up until the last shoot.