What I Got Up To In The NHS...

This is not an exhaustive list by any means.

For one thing, all those little extra analyses that consecutive Clinical Directors and Departmental Managers wanted at the last possible minute before their many meetings are not included, as are the myriads of weeny little jobs that surgeons wanted me to undertake whilst standing looking over my shoulder and thrusting a USB in my face. Then there were the ‘suits’ working for NHS England whose shared hot-desks were down the end of the corridor; they’d approach me with, “John, if I buy you lunch could you do this analysis for me?”

Then there was the Director of the Primary Care Trust who’d phone and say, “John, are you free right now?” - can’t say no to the purse holder! And then, pretty much every other morning at 8am, was a queue of pale-faced senior house officers waiting outside my office, who were all going to get bawled at terribly by their consultant at 8:30am for not handing in their clinical audit project.

The key for early morning arr…