What Your Body Is Really Trying to Tell You

Every night at about 9 pm, my body announces You need some chocolate! We’re told to listen to our bodies so I usually follow through—but should I? I feel sufficiently guilty that I sneak a bit of the chocolate bar hidden in my desk only when my husband is out of the room.

Feeling the urge for chocolate could mean that you’re hungry and your body needs food, but it could also mean that you’re stressed, anxious, or bored and need a temporary balm to make you feel better. How do you tell the difference?

Our bodies constantly send us the signals we need, but innumerable social, cultural, and psychological messages interfere, making it hard to hear them. In researching my latest book, I learned that if you have a craving, you can’t just ignore it. Willpower usually fails in the long run. A better plan is to investigate your bodily sensations and get curious about what they mean.

I decided to try the plan for my phone compulsion (more problematic than chocolate). I knew that I checked my iPhone dozens of times a day when I was supposed to be writing. First I’d check texts and emails, and if that didn’t distract me enough I’d look at the weather app (two degree change!) and scan the news headlines, then maybe a quick look at Instagram to see the latest on Devil Wears Prada 2. Twenty minutes or so later, I’d remember to return to my writing—and I’d feel incredibly frustrated at the time lost.

The next time I got the urge for a phone check, I sat back to analyze what I was feeling. My body seemed restless. I needed some distraction. I realized that whether it was physical or mental didn’t really matter so I stood up and walked around for about thirty seconds. When I sat down again, I looked at my computer screen and managed to keep writing. For the rest of the day, every time I wanted to check my phone, I asked myself what is my body feeling? I stood up a lot. I walked around. I looked out the window. The time spent doing that was far shorter than the hours I would have wasted on the internet each time my brain needed a break.

At the end of the day, I felt triumphant. I’d cut down my phone distractions and even more important, I had some sense of control back. If I got an urge to click or scroll or grab my phone, I could study the feeling instead of acting on it.

All of this has made my days happier. As for the 9 pm chocolate conundrum, I think my body knows that small pleasures are important for well-being too. For now, I’ll listen to my body on that one. I just won’t tell my husband.

My book What Your Body Knows About Happiness comes out June 2 in paperback with a brand new cover. If you haven’t read it yet, please get this new edition right now! You can preorder it at your local bookstore or online retailer. I’ll also be giving some talks and will let you know more about dates and places.

Getting the first box of this new edition was a thrill—and many thanks to my publisher for the great new look.

Thanks for being part of this newsletter. I’ll continue to have lots more ideas on being happier every day. Please spread the good cheer!

love, Janice