Good Conflict Isn’t Luck

Years ago I saw a fabulous keynote by photographer Steve Uzzell. His main message was “chance favors the prepared mind,” a loosely translated quote from scientist Louis Pasteur. Their combined point is that sometimes it seems that people get good results based on dumb luck, when, in fact, the extensive preparation and analysis they did leading up to the lucky moment simply put them in a position where they could make the most of it. In other words, we kind of make our own luck. In his keynote he shared some phenomenal photos AND he shared the hard work he put into making sure he was in the right place at the right time. It was very cool.

This concept has direct relevance to the “good conflict” I’ve been writing about here. A conflict can never be fully under your control, since there are other parties involved. That can really make it feel like the results you get are a matter of chance sometimes. Yes, luck always plays a role, but how prepared is your mind for the conflicts in front of you?

In my post last week I talked about the conditions required for good conflict to happen. In short, the issue must be relevant, the process must have truth and movement, and the resolution must be generative. You can’t make all that happen by yourself, but there are things you can do to set yourself up for success. Here’s an example.

Elena, the VP of Programs, has a conflict brewing with Susan, the new VP of marketing, because Susan bumped the flagship program down in the fall marketing schedule. Elena knows she needs to raise the issue with Susan (conflict avoidance is almost never a good thing), but she takes the time to think strategically about the conditions of good conflict first:

Issue relevance: Bumping the program is certainly a relevant issue to Elena, but the bigger issue here is how the two VPs are going to work together over time, because that has a much bigger impact on the system than when those emails go out in the fall. So she chooses to make that the frame, rather than her complaint about the apparent de-prioritization of her program. With these conditions it’s never about checking a box—it’s about nuanced choices that maximize the chance that good conflict will happen.

Truth and movement in process: Elena’s initial thought was to bring it up in the Thursday senior team meeting, but she realized that brought the CEO into the conversation, which changes the power dynamics, particularly because Elena and the CEO have been close friends for years, and Susan has only been here six months. That process choice makes it more likely that Susan would dig in her heels, which would only move things backwards. It also makes it more likely that Susan will share more of her rationale for the choice she made, maybe even some new data of which Elena wasn’t aware.

Generative resolution: Elena can’t know how the conflict will be resolved yet, but she recognizes that a resolution where the two VPs end up on the same page about how to support each other’s functions is going to eliminate all sorts of future conflicts. It smooths the path. So she intentionally frames her conversation with Susan with that in mind.

Elena could have added this to the Thursday senior team agenda, and it probably would have blown up. Classic “bad” conflict. Instead, she asked for a 1-1 meeting with Susan and had a productive conversation about how the two departments can work together well, which included a brief discussion of the marketing priorities in the fall. They didn’t quite finish that negotiation, but they got close, because both sides were able to share new information and problem-solve effectively.

You can chalk that up to luck, that Susan and Elena both happened to be having a good day so it went smoothly. I think Elena made that luck happen. Strategic consideration of the conditions as you choose your next moves in conflict situations can really pay off. This, in fact, is the focus of my new “real-time conflict strategy” project, where I work with leaders to map out some strategic choices in a conflict they are actually in.

Don’t leave good conflict up to chance!

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