Being Nobody

Is everyone standing on the uncomfortable threshold of a new life right now, or is it just me?

The truth is, I’m tired. I’m tired of the noise, the division, the endless sea of content, the social media spiritual gurus. I’m tired of hustling to make money to compete in a dying economy.

There’s a quote I’ve seen going around social media…

“Healing made me less ambitious.”

I relate. I spent a decade on Madison Avenue as a creative strategist, climbing the corporate ladder and measuring my value based on the expectations of a toxic society. I was infected by the disease of wanting to be somebody, to prove myself, which led to anxiety, comparison, and create burnout.

The years since leaving New York City and the advertising industry have been a gradual process of returning home to myself, a deconstruction of identity and attachments, back to the basics, the threshold of a new beginning.

The irony is, when you stop trying to “be somebody” and simply sink into your nature, your most aligned life and expression unfold without effort. Slowing down will get you further than rushing. Trusting the current is safer than fighting the waves.

The poet Charles Bukowski has a simple epitaph engraved on his tombstone:

“Don’t try.”

What Bukowski meant was: stop forcing, stop trying to control every outcome and let your life and art unfold without force or interference.

The tree doesn’t try to grow leaves. The cloud doesn’t try to rain. It is their nature, their dharma.

So I’m not interested in being somebody anymore. I’d rather be nobody.

Nature doesn’t hurry or worry or manipulate or impose. It has no will or agenda, but unfolds without effort or strategy according to a higher order.

And through it all is created.

For the past few weeks I’ve been living on a ranch outside Wimberly, Texas. As I write these words, I’m sitting outside, shirtless, my body being gently kissed by the warm June sun as my dogs explore the land.

My wife and I are taking an unexpected break. Things have been stressful between us. I’m entering a season of slowing down and taking care of my physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. I stopped drinking coffee and am spending more time outside among the animals on the ranch – donkeys, goats, cows, chickens, and a horse named Ranger.

Threshold moments do not require us to become somebody we’re not, or to strive to achieve the next breakthrough. Rather they are an invitation into deeper presence, to shed your old skin and return home to yourself.

Moving forward, this publication (formerly known as Creative Alchemy) will be called Being Nobody. My intent is to embrace this season of regeneration to share meditations on exiting the matrix, being an artist, and awakening to your nature.

Thanks for being here.

Are you at a threshold moment in your own life, a personal death and rebirth? Please share in the comments!

In this time of personal and collective change, community is essential, which is why I started Sunflower Club, a virtual community and school for writers, artists, misfits, and mystics.

Membership includes virtual workshops, open mics, guest speakers, and a growing library of resources.

Join the club.

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I was recently invited on the Souture podcast, and it was one of my favorite interviews I’ve done in a while. We talk about the path of being a poet, the difference between art and content, and how the universe conspired to give me my first book deal.