Love at the Circus

I met the long-suffering Current Mrs Coverley when she asked me a question about Roman history. If I’m honest, I cannot remember what the question was, but six hours later, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes.

So if anyone were to approach me for dating advice, I would say that the best option is to cram one’s mind full of as much Roman history trivia as possible, learn Latin, learn a smattering of French and then just wait until a beautiful, enquiring maiden (or otherwise, of course) wanders into one’s orbit.

This might strike the more urgent young person, especially young men, as somewhat impractical, and in order to save them from the minefield of bovine idiots on social media who portray themselves as ‘dating coaches’ in exchange for money, I do have some more practical advice - don’t be a dick. Don’t be a dick, be yourself, calm down and respect the other person’s choices. It’s really not much more complicated than that. If you can be funny and witty, be funny and witty. If you can’t, don’t try to be. Apart from that, a good tip is to start a conversation as if you are already halfway through it. If you think of, say, the fifth thing you might say to someone in a conversation - “Wow, the music is really loud in here!” for example - then say that first and then you’ve already broken the ice without having to do all the awkward stuff first. If she/he/they tells you to “fuck off”, then for Jupiter’s sake, just fuck off.

As I’m now nearer 60 than 50, I no longer have to jump through such hoops, of course, but it does raise the question of how this complicated dance played out in the Roman world. What was dating like in ancient Rome? How would you have met your partner? Did you even go on a date, or was it all arranged?