Why I wrote a book I never planned to write

In the spring of 2025 I was at a crossroads.

My family had migrated to America when I was a child but I’d always felt a pull towards the country of my birth and held fast to a fantasy of what my life might have been. With America in turmoil it seemed like the time had come. By early spring, however, it had become increasingly clear to me that this dream of mine might not materialize. No matter how well I planned. No matter how much I wanted it. I wasn’t sure what my next step should be but my internal clock said it was time to move forward. I waited for signs.

Summer came and I reached out to an aunt in Italy, just to say hello it had been a while. She immediately suggested I visit. I balked - an invite had not been my intention. Italy is a gorgeous country but I was watching my budget and figured that cozying up to the euro might not be the most efficient way to travel at the moment. It didn’t make sense. Still, my aunt persisted and eventually I folded and hopped on my laptop to shop fares.

The JFK to Rome route had plenty of options but I decided to fly Delta so that I could at least get the miles. When I found the flight I wanted I switched to the app to avoid having to type in my traveler info (right?). My total was five dollars.

What?

This must be a mistake, I thought and pressed the back button. Nope. $5. Five American dollars. I must have somehow brushed the little button that changed payment from dollars to miles and I had just enough for a ticket to Rome! The five dollars was tax. I called my two besties screaming! I had already said yes to this adventure, whatever the cost, but now the universe had said yes back. This was the sign I was looking for. From that moment on I saw my journey as one I was meant to have.

That serendipitous ticket lead to the single most transformative trip I’ve ever taken, igniting fresh ideas, perspectives and allowing me to see my family in a new light. Still, I never imagined it would produce its own book.

Three years ago when I wrote DeConstructing Criticism it poured out of me quickly. My only want was to share what I had learned and help others who were having similar struggles. My experience with Or You Could Just Not has moved a bit differently. There have been many starts, stops and shifts as I reckoned with the weight of my own discoveries.

Or You Could Just Not is the result of connecting dots in myself I thought were lost. It is a travelogue of the heart.

Sometimes the best plans are the ones you never made.