My legs are the devil I know

_{Image by Bella Dower}

Rituals come in all forms.

I’ve learnt that mine is one I never expected.

I used to hate running because it hated me.

I can’t remember exactly why I started running, except that it was something I’d wanted to do for a long time.

It felt like something I wanted to overcome.

Before realising it was something I could become a part of.

One foot in front of the other.
It sounded simple, even though I knew it wasn’t.

A physical act.

A mental game.
Often a war inside of me.

My legs are the devil I know.
And it is a ritual I can always rely on.

I never thought I’d be here.

Here.

Where running is my sanity.

My space to experiment.

My space to connect.

Because running isn’t just running.

It allows me to be the person I’ve always wanted to be.

Someone lighter.

Someone funnier.

Someone stronger.

Who is less self-conscious.

Who wears less make-up.

Someone who can say yes.
Someone who can say yes to the things that scare me.

I don’t run every day but I do run multiple times every week.

I think about it every day too.

Maybe that’s part of the ritual.

Running isn’t just running.

It lets you plan the route.
You get to run with friends.
And have coffee with those friends after.
You learn that you can run even when you’re tired.
When you’re sad.

When you feel like you can’t.
You can run when it feels like a celebration.

When you feel fast.

You can run even when it’s raining.
Even when you snooze your alarm.

Sometimes the action is hard, but the decision is always easy.

Running isn’t just running.

It’s a ritual that calms and consumes me.

Because even if I hate the run, I like the day that unfolds after.

And while my legs will probably always feel like they earn every kilometer.

My legs are the devil I know.

This piece was written for Fluff in collaboration with The Ritual by KIC, currently discussing the theme: “Method in the Madness.”

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