Produced by Dave Reckoning.
INTRODUCTION
After many decades of near-hegemony in public life, the Established Religion of Secular Humanism is facing some of its greatest challenges. Such indispensable doctrines as Evolution, Separation of Church and State, and others, once held sacred and unchallengeable, are being doubted and questioned as never before, shaking secularist society to its very foundations.
To meet this challenge, it is necessary to compile, in one compact, easy-to-understand reference, all the basic dogmas of the secular humanist religion. Remembering the success the Church of Rome once had in helping their Faithful believers to know and defend their Faith, we have endeavored to assemble this simple Catechism of the Secularist Religion, using the popular Baltimore Catechism No.1 as a model. Armed with this little book, our children may be more adequately prepared to do battle with those narrow-minded Neanderthals who would try to subject our precious dogmas to the rigors of the Scientific Method.
May blind chance bless you.
Dave Reckoning, author
CONTINUED FROM LESSON 1:
LESSON 2 : Evolution and It’s Pefections
8. Q. What do we mean when we say that Evolution is an impersonal process?
A. When we say that Evolution is an impersonal process, we mean that it is not a person, and especially that it is not God.
9. Q. Who is God?
A. Hush! There is no God! God is unscientific. We cannot reproduce God in the Laboratory. Have you ever seen God? Huh? Huh? Therefore, God cannot exist.
10. Q. How can I prove that God does not exist?
A. All knowledgeable, responsible, and informed scientists agree that God does not exist.
11. Q. Who decides which scientists are “knowledgeable, responsible, and informed”?
A. All knowledgeable, responsible, and informed scientists decide who are the knowledgeable, responsible, and informed scientists.
12. Q. Where is Evolution?
A. Evolution is everywhere.
13. Q. If Evolution is everywhere, why do we not see it?
A. We do not see Evolution because it is invisible. But it is real, nonetheless. We must believe in Evolution, even though we cannot see, hear, taste, smell, or feel it.
14. Q. Has Evolution ever been reproduced in the Laboratory, or has anyone ever seen it in action?
A. Um... no.
15. Q. Then isn't Evolution also unscientific?
A. Shut up. You ask too many questions. What are you? An ignorant, unthinking, unquestioning Christian?
LESSON 3: The Only Possible Explanation for Life
16. Q. Is Evolution the only possible Explanation for the origins of life?
A. Yes; Evolution is the only possible Explanation for the origins of life.
17. Q. But what about God?
A. Since Science has ruled out the possibility of God, that leaves Evolution as the only possible Explanation for the origins of life.
18. Q. But how do we know that God cannot / does not exist?
A. All those who want to be accepted by the community of knowledgeable, responsible, and informed Scientists and other Influential Persons, and want to get good-paying jobs, must deny the existence of God. Those who believe in God are marginalized as stupid, ignorant, superstitious creationists and/ or Christians. Which side do YOU want to be on??
LESSON 4: The Big Bang
19. Q. What do we mean when we say that Evolution is the explanation for all living things?
A. When we say that Evolution is the explanation for all living things, we mean that Evolution caused all things to arise from inert preexistent matter.
20. Q. What is preexistent matter?
A. Preexistent matter was a mass of all matter in existence, containing all the elements we now know, including all the ingredients of life.
21. Q. Where did the preexistent matter come from?
A. The preexistent matter had no beginning. It always was.
22. Q. It always was? Is that like, uh, God?
A. Shut up and ask something more Scientific.
23. Q. How did Life arise from this inert preexistent matter?
A. It arose spontaneously.
24. Q. But didn't Science debunk Spontaneous Generation centuries ago?
A. Billions and billions of years ago, two or more masses of preexistent matter collided with each other, resulting in the “Big Bang”.
25. Q. What caused these masses of matter to collide and make a Big Bang?
A. Nothing caused it. It was an accident.
26. Q. What happened after the Big Bang?
A. The matter was flung off by the explosion, and, in the course of billions of years, gradually formed itself into the many stars, nebulae, and planets of the Universe.
27. Q. Has anyone ever reproduced the Big Bang in the Laboratory?
A. Of course not! That cannot ever be replicated in a Laboratory.
28. Q. And what is so “Scientific” about THAT?
A. All those who want to be accepted by the community of knowledgeable, responsible, and informed Scientists and other Influential Persons, and want to get good-paying jobs, must believe in the Big Bang. Those who do not are marginalized as stupid, ignorant, superstitious creationists and/ or Christians. Which side do YOU want to be on??.
LESSON 5: The Evolution of Man
29. Q. What is Man?
A. Man is the most developed being to have evolved thus far.
30. Q. What does “evolve” mean?
A. “Evolve” means to develop from other, lower species according to the law of Evolution.
31. Q. From what species did Man evolve?
A. Man evolved from the apes and other primates, which, in turn, evolved from lower mammals, which were descended from birds, reptiles, and fishes, all the way back to single-celled organisms which spontaneously arose from the Primordial Soup.
32. Q. What is Primordial Soup?
A. The Primordial Soup was a liquid mass of matter that existed on Earth millions of years ago. From this Soup, the first life forms spontaneously arose, due to the unique conditions that existed back then.
33. Q. Has anyone ever seen Primordial Soup?
A. No.
34. Q. Has anyone ever reproduced the unique conditions for the spontaneous generation of life in the Laboratory?
A. No.
35. Q. Has anyone ever seen one species evolve into another species?
A. No.
36. Q. But Evolution is supposed to be Scientific, right?
A. Right.
Thanks for sharing this incredible work with us, Dave Reckoning!
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