Boredom

ON QUITTING ALCOHOL

Being bored fucking terrifies people. We spend most of our waking life avoiding boredom at all costs. Before I quit drinking, boredom was not an issue. Alcoholics don't get bored; they get drunk. I'm bored all the fucking time now, but I am learning that you can use boredom to your advantage.

I always lived by the mantra that only boring people get bored. So, I desperately avoided being boring or bored. At the very first inkling that boredom was about to set in, I would be off to do something, usually drink, but it could really be anything: eat, gamble, do drugs, fuck—just anything to avoid that terrifying space we called boredom.

Once you stop drinking and begin piecing your life back together, it is inevitable that you will be bored. You will try to avoid it, but there is only so much Netflix and Pornhub you can watch before you eventually come face to face with the stark reality that you are stuck in the realm of boredom.

Boredom is completely misunderstood. It isn't meant to be avoided or filled up with distractions. Boredom is really there to show you what you are avoiding. And once you have been shown why you are distracting yourself, you can use the boredom as motivation to go out and do that thing.

I like to be completely bored a couple of times a week. No distractions, no phone, no computer—just me and complete fucking boredom. The first 5 minutes are uncomfortable, but eventually, I am forced into thinking about the things I should be doing. For me, it was writing this week's newsletter. I was meant to release this on Wednesday but kept distracting myself until about 20 minutes ago when I took away all distractions and realized, "Oh fuck, I need to write this newsletter by Sunday to make it 14 weeks in a row."

Don't avoid boredom; it is there to show you the things you really should be doing and to motivate you to do them. When you avoid being bored, you lose a lot of your innate natural motivation.

Ask Me Anything

The Boyale answers a question sent in by the wonderful Brandi Dunagan. But instead of answering it properly he has a meltdown. So here is the question:

Do you feel like one major part of sobriety is the shift of perceived boredom into being aware of peace in your life? Basically did the BOREDOM morph into something else for you over time?

And here is the meltdown.

Enjoy

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