snail girl spring essentials

After an unforgivingly reclusive winter, I could not be more excited for springtime. There is something about spring in the city that gives the season an extra touch of magic. Fresh yellow flowers against ancient brownstones, parks coming back to life with rippling laughter, and the shared joy of feeling like a person again after losing yourself to the frost demons. I was never much of a spring creature until I moved here, and now the second I see the first leaf reemerge I scurry outside in a sundress and make a huge deal about eating a pear on the bench.

Spring is also a time to reset and take it easy, even if that means drawing boundaries with whatever is sucking your soul. My favorite way of doing that is immersing myself in all the things I love, like a sensorial skin potion, a visually stunning movie, or a refreshing beverage I can drink from my mushroom mug. From one snail girl to another, here is my list of spring essentials.

Come April, I truly cannot go to bed unless I feel like the slimiest lady in town. Like what better feeling is there than waking up to birds chirping, green leaves whistling, and the effects of last night’s skincare glistening on your cheeks after a long gummy-aided slumber? According to modern medicine, there is none.

These are all the products that leave my skin ready to face the misty morning, without breaking me out.

Dream Sleep Nighttime Slugging Hydrogel Face Mask - LOOPS

Super Saturated Hydrating Barrier Serum - Experiment

Bean Essence - Mixsoon (I mix this with tinted moisturizer)

Clear Oil-Free Moisturizer - Paula’s Choice

Advanced Snail 92 All-In-One Cream - COSRX

Softwear Lip Treatment - Experiment

Snail Mucin Eye Cream - Then I Met You

Ever since embracing my obsession with horror novels, reading has quickly become my favorite way to consume literally anything. I’ve even fallen back in love with reading philosophy and critical theory, after taking a long hiatus from anything remotely academic post-grad school. To absolutely no one’s surprise, 19th century existentialism is much more enjoyable when you don’t have a room full of edge lords explaining it to you.

My favorite reading ritual in the spring is to walk to a nearby neighborhood and read in the community garden. I love feeling a little far away from home when I read, especially when it’s romantasy or sleazy poetry. It’s almost like I have my own little world where I can privately get to know the characters, or feel fully immersed in the memories certain poems conjure up.

Here are some books I’ll be devouring by the tulips:

Knight and The Moth by Rachel GilligBetween Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

I Who Have Never Known Men - Jacqueline Harpman

Stranger Music by Leonard Cohen

Ten Bridges I’ve Burnt by Brontez Purnell

Love is a Dog from Hell by Charles Bukowski

Folk Horror Short Stories by Paul Kane and Marie O’Regan

The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone de Beauvoir

‘Tis the season for sipping! Cafe outdoor seating + beverage is scientifically proven to cure all melancholy and transport you to a realm where nothing bad has ever happened. Like I truly forget about whatever rare ailment I was spending my winter days diagnosing myself with. Add some poetry + a little classical music in the Air Pods and you have the perfect formula for sustained joy. When it’s raining, I like to spend my Spring day sitting inside with the humidifier turned up to eleven, drinking something fizzy from a wine glass.

These are the liquids I love most:

Honey matcha - with oat or coconut milk because my digestive tract is a sensitive girl. (Also happy cows = happy Earth)

Peach pear La Croix - This flavor is so refreshing and magical. If you can’t find it, guava will do.

Lychee Mocktail - Most Thai places in the city have some version of this

Cherry Lime Poppi - Their best cherry. New shirley temple flavor is pure hype.

Rainbow Sherbert Liquid IV - Sugar-free and so so dreamy

Caramelized Pineapple Mocktail (Phuket Me Not) - From Fishcheeks!

Pistachio Iced Chai - You can get this anywhere they have those Monin flavor syrups. Just ask nicely :)

I don’t think I need to write a cheeky little into about how music reawakens the spirit, so here’s a list of everything that brings me back to life in the Spring months:

Sounds from the Heart of the Woods by Kacey Musgraves

Once Twice Melody by Beach House

Paragons by Constant Smiles

Chemtrails Over The Country Club by Lana Del Rey

Evermore by Taylor Swift

Baby I’m The Wolf by Ha Vey

Tigers Blood by Waxahatchee

Passive With Desire by Choirboy

OH (ohio) by Lambchop

Please: Further Listening (Disc 1) by Pet Shop Boys

It’s Belle de jour spring, baby. April - June are when the girl pervs come alive and here are a few films I believe are essential to the horny girl cinema canon:

Belle de jour - A sexually repressed housewife named Séverine takes up sex work as a respite from her unfulfilling domestic life. There is a scene in this movie where a man tells Séverine he no longer finds her hot once he realizes she genuinely enjoys perversion. I think about it twice a day.

Pillion - Alexander Skarsgård plays a hot biker dom who is honestly kind of boring but you get to see him in leather overalls.

Poor Things - Come for the immersive, whimsical set designs, stay for the all too familiar experience of a man getting the ick when a woman learns how to read. Another film for the ghouls who refuse to be less horny and less curious for the sake of an easier life.

Secretary - Maggie Gyllenhal really gave the empowered submissive girls some real hope with this one. I cry every time I watch it.

Splendor in The Grass - 1960’s romantic drama that examines the madonna/whore complex in a way that was ahead of its time. Fair warning, it will make you sob for hours.

The Sound of Music - This movie walked so Secretary could run (iykyk).

That concludes everything on my Snail Girl Spring media list. Remember to drink lots of water, drench your skin in your favorite moisturizer, and take things slow (commit time theft).

-Rachey