Last Wednesday I was a guest on the Dr Louise Newson Podcast talking about my first proper book, Burning Up, Frozen Out: Everything Men Need to Know About the Menopause - But No One Told You (the new website is now live!).
Louise has been so supportive of my work and it was a real pleasure to have the opportunity to tell her and her audience more about the book (the episode is coming soon!).
Last Wednesday also happened to mark a fairly major personal milestone: exactly five years since I last had a drink.
Don’t worry. This isn’t a post about writing books or giving up alcohol. It’s also not a preachy wellness sermon. Promise. It’s about something far simpler - and far more powerful. It’s about nudging the needle. Let me explain.
One Word At A Time
No one ever writes a book. You write one word. Then another word. Those words become sentences. Sentences become paragraphs. Paragraphs become chapters. You get the idea.
Eventually - almost by accident - you have a book.
The same is true of most big life goals. No one wakes up one morning and says, ‘That’s it, I’m never drinking again’ and sticks to it forever. (Many people will say that after an especially heavy night - but it’s not genuine or true!) What usually happens is they decide not to drink that day. Then the next day. And then the next.
That’s what happened to me. Before I knew it, months had passed. Then years. And now, for me personally, the benefits massively outweigh the drawbacks. I’ve got no desire to ever drink again.
But again, this post isn’t about alcohol - it’s about how change actually happens. And how misunderstanding that process is where almost everyone goes wrong.
Too Much, Too Soon
The mistake most people make is turning goals into massive, intimidating life overhauls.
‘I need to lose three stone.’
‘I need to get fit.’
‘I need to turn my life around.’
The goal is too big or too vague, and that’s overwhelming. So we do nothing. Even if you start with the best intentions and a ton of motivation, it won’t take long before the wheels come off and you’re back at square one.
Fifty-Fifty Moments
A better way to start living the healthier and happier life you want is to stop thinking in grand gestures and start focusing on small steps. Every single day we’re faced with dozens of small 50–50 decisions. Go for a walk or stay on the sofa. Hit the gym or sack it off. Cook something decent or grab whatever’s quickest. Go to bed on time or scroll for another hour.
None of these feel life-changing in the moment. But stack them up over weeks, months and years and they quietly shape your health, your energy, your confidence and your life. In short, we are the sum of those small decisions.
And this is the part most people miss: you don’t have to be perfect. It’s not about extreme discipline or an all-or-nothing mindset. It’s about direction. If you can nudge the needle towards the better option slightly more often than the worse one, you’re winning.
Small Steps, Big Impact
This works with anything - fitness, food, weight, sleep, stress, work, relationships. Just one nudge. A quick walk. A better lunch. A fun workout. A long chat. An early night. Some words on a page.
There’s no pressure, no deadlines and no dramatic declarations. Just a small step in the right direction.
You don’t have to write a book or quit drinking or reinvent yourself. But becoming the healthiest, happiest, calmest, most confident version of you starts with one small step, because momentum isn’t built with grand gestures.
It’s built by nudging the needle.
If you have any questions, thoughts or feedback, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. And if this resonates, feel free to pass it on to someone who might need it.
Joe
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