Facebook had the audacity to remind me that three years ago, I was in Greece instead of this hellish dystopian nightmare we’ve all come to loathe. So, for our folklore post today, we’re looking at Dikteon Cave, the birthplace of the mighty Zeus himself!
(Allegedly.)
Before I tell the story, let me first emphasize that prophecy exists for its own edification. It is designed entirely for post-diction and self-fulfillment. That’s important to remember when dealing with ancient prophecies handed down by the Fates and oracles, as well as dumb and dangerous ones that exist today.
So, we begin our tale in the era of the Titans.
Kronos was the Titan god of time. He led a rebellion against his father, Ouranos (god of the sky) and secured for himself the position as king of the gods, where he ruled beside his wife, Rhea.
This was the Golden Age when humans enjoyed life without toil or suffering. Apparently, he was a pretty solid ruler.
Except Kronos was given a prophecy. Just as he overthrew his father, one of his children will usurp his power and steal the throne of Heaven. So, he ends up paranoid about having kids. Unfortunately, the gods have a really hard time keeping it in their pants, and Rhea quickly becomes pregnant.
Rhea gives birth to a daughter named Hestia (goddess of the hearth and home). In his fear, Kronos decides to swallow the baby whole to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled.
And again. And again.
Five times.
When Rhea becomes pregnant with baby #6, she is desperate to save her child. She plots with her mother, Gaia, and they sneak away into the depths of Dikteon Cave on the island of Crete, where Rhea gives birth.
And thus, the mighty Zeus was born.
They leave baby Zeus behind with Amalthea, who was either a nymph or a goat.
You pick.
Then, because Kronos was apparently dumber than a brick, Rhea wrapped a rock in swaddling clothes and handed it to Kronos. He swallowed it whole without noticing it’s a rock.
Amalthea, the goat/nymph, nursed and raised Zeus as he grew up on Crete. When he was old enough and strong enough, he went back to mainland Greece and tricked his father into throwing up his fully formed and adult siblings: Poseidon, Hades, Demeter, Hestia, and Hera.
Then, the Titan War began.
The war was long and arduous, but thanks to the clever cunning of Prometheus, Zeus rose victorious, usurping power from his father and stealing the throne of heaven.
Thus, the prophecy was self-fulfilled, as all prophecies are meant to be.
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