why you should be happy that your du'a hasn't been answered yet

So…like many of you girls, I have my du’as.

I wrote them all down in my notebook with a blue pen that costs $1 (or less).

To anyone else, it looks like pages of scribbly handwriting, but to me, they feel like imprints of my soul.

And there is one du’a in that notebook that I have been desperately wanting to come true. Because when it does, a big chapter in my life will finally close. A chapter that I have been on for several years and am still on today…but if that one du’a gets answered, I will finally be able to move on to a new dream.

Allah has not given me the answer to this du’a (in the complete way) for a long time —

and I’m happy about it.

I know it sounds strange to you, but it’s true, and I’ll tell you how.

There have been signs, of course. That I am getting closer, that it’s not as farfetched and delusional as i thought it would be when it was first placed in my heart. But I’m still working towards it in the same way as I did yesterday. On repeat. Like a 100x.

But I’ve learned to not be angry, bitter, or upset about it.

Why?

Because I know I’m not ready for it.

In this day and age, I see a lot of Muslims getting impatient to have their dua answered. And I get it. It can be something so personal and important to you, and you want it so badly.

Sometimes it feels like life or death.

But think about your du’a right now. Seriously reflect, not in the typical question on “are your ready to have your du’a answered”, but something much deeper that we often we forget we are also asking Allah:

That are you ready for your life to completely change?

Are you ready to leave behind the familiarity of waiting and step into a completely new chapter? Are you ready to say goodbye to your current life?

Allah is holding back what you’re asking for because He knows it would overwhelm you in your current state.

There are aspects of your life, your character, or your relationship with Allah that need to grow before you can fully appreciate or handle the blessing you’re asking for.

Allah knows when we’re ready.

And often, we aren’t as prepared as we think we are.

After a while of reflecting, I know I’m certainly not, and I’m mature enough to admit that to myself.

It becomes painful to wait when you lie to yourself about it otherwise.

Say, you make dua to Allah to cure your illness, promising that you’ll never forget Him after you’re cured.

But will you really?

Can you say for sure that the next time you turn to Allah after you’re healed, it won’t be because you need something from Him?

How can you fix that dynamic right now?

In the Quran, Allah says:

“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” {13:11}

I’ll give you another example.

You want to be rich and you want your business to be successful.

But are you actually putting in the work for your business?

Don’t kid yourself.

When I say work hard, I don’t mean you’re constantly waking up late, jumping on your project for two hours, then taking a five-hour break.

That you stay locked in your room, and you have no consistent routine.

Or maybe you do have a consistent routine, but the second you get demotivated, you stop working on it and forget about your business for six months.

Then you get mad at Allah for making you work so hard in the first place and He gave you nothing to show for it.

No.

You’re only blaming Allah because you don’t want to blame yourself.

You don’t want to see that you are the problem.

If you’re not going to learn your lesson this way, what’s going to happen when the stakes are even higher?

Imagine if Allah actually does answer your du’a now.

Going back to becoming rich- and not even “rich rich” but enough money to support your family and yourself and you do it all by working on a business you love….however, you never fixed your flaws.

So you end up losing it all.

It’s true. Working on a business can give you the perks of income, flexibility, travelling the world, and treating yourself. But you have to sustain it, and that's the part most successful business influencers don't show.

Another example: you’ve been making du’a for marriage. Allah answers your du’a. But after the wedding highlights are over, you realize you never understood how to communicate during conflict. You expect your husband to heal your insecurities.

You thought marriage was your key to happiness. It’s not.

Your problems don’t disappear because you got married, they quietly move in with you like potted plants and coffee mugs, living inside the space.

The du’a being answered isn’t the goal, YOU are the goal.

In my case, when my du’a is not answered when I personally think it should be, I try to pause and think:

What am I not prepared for?

I’m a human being with flaws. We all are.

What flaws are currently in the way of my dreams that Allah is telling me to fix so He can answer my du’a?

And believe me, when I actually think about it, there is a lot I need to work on.

So…where is the happiness I talked about?

It’s in the fact that Allah has given you more time.

More time to learn and to become wiser.

More time to strengthen your relationship with Him.

More time to build the character that can actually carry the blessings when they finally arrive.

If Allah had answered my du’a years ago, I don’t know if I would’ve been the person that I needed to be.

Today, I’m stronger than I was before.

More patient.

More intentional.

More reflective of my weaknesses.

More dependent on Allah than on the outcomes.

Every delay, every obstacle, and every moment of reflection is a part of Allah’s plan to help me grow into that person I’m meant to be — the one who He created me to be.

Because I’d rather receive my du’a at the right time as the right woman than receive it too early and and lose it so early.

When your dua is not answered, no matter how angry and sad it may make you in that moment, remain calm and remember that you are in control of your life.

It is up to you to show Allah that you are ready for the challenge it takes to have your du’a answered.

And when you recognize that, you will be grateful.

You will also see the little pockets of blessings in your life — the du’as that have already been answered. The small and meaningful moments that remind you that He is with you every step of the way.

• The smell of fresh coffee in the morning.

• Having a beautiful day outside.

• The laughter of others.

• Peace you feel during your morning prayer.

These blessings are signs of His mercy.

They are like little whispers from Allah saying:

“I haven’t forgotten you. I’m still here, taking care of you, preparing you.”

And for that, I’m grateful.

The real question isn’t:

“Why hasn’t Allah answered my dua yet?”

But rather:

“What is Allah guiding me to work on so I’m ready when He does?”

And that’s all it is, sisters.

Just two key things:

1. Make sure you are prepared for it, and work on yourself if you’re not.

2. Be grateful for what you have right now, because then you will see just how much Allah works in your favour, not against you.

Keep making dua and keep working for it.

With love and sisterhood,

Her Deen & Dunya

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