the ayah that destroys the argument: "hijab exists because men can't control themselves"

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“Modesty exists only to serve the male power”

“Why does a woman need to be protected from being seen? Looks like religious systems never held men accountable, so they just made women invisible.”

“Women have to wear hijab because if they don’t men will sexualize them because they can’t control themselves.”

I’m sure there are much more comments men and women have said about the concept of hijab than this.

But essentially, it narrows down to how we, Muslim women, wear it because Muslim men can’t be bothered to respect us.

Because men “are born that way” in regards to their urges.

• That a man sees a woman and loses his ability to control.

• That attraction is too powerful.

• That men are animals who don’t really know any better.

Now, we usually have the straightforward response when it comes to this argument:

“Islam tells men to lower their gaze first.”

And that’s true. Allah commands believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity before He addresses believing women to do the same thing {24:30–31}.

But I want to highlight another verse that is just as powerful.

And it firmly proves that men are not uncontrollable beings.

And if people (and Muslims) just knew about this, this pathetic argument wouldn’t even exist in the first place. We Muslim women wouldn’t even have to think back for a second and think…”maybe I do wear hijab for men”

And certain Muslim “men” themselves wouldn’t claim that hijab is for them exclusively.

Here is that ayah that Allah has immortalized, where a Muslim man did control himself:

“And she certainly determined [to seduce] him, and he would have inclined to her had he not seen the proof of his Lord. And thus [it was] that We should avert from him evil and immorality. Indeed, he was of Our chosen servants. {12:24}

This ayah is about an incident regarding the Prophet Yusuf (AS).

This dedicates his time as a young man living in the household of al-‘Aziz. The wife of al-‘Aziz (the “she” in this ayah) happened to be attracted to Yusuf. Here, she has fallen into her desires and is actively pursuing him with full intent and power over the situation

A man. A woman wanting him. Both of them in a locked room.

Yet….we don’t see him taking advantage of that, do we?

Lets look at the deeper tafsir behind this ayah:

Imam Ash-Shafi’i explains the part where it says “and he would have inclined to her”. This describes the hamma of Yusuf (AS) as the natural desire any man would experience when seeing an attractive woman, but he controlled himself and lowered his gaze. Simply finding someone attractive is not itself a sin.

The crime is acting upon it. That’s where the line is crossed.

This is compared to fasting. The feeling of thirst while fasting is not a sin—that’s the natural appetite Allah ﷻ placed within humans. Yusuf (AS) experienced that natural human desire, but he knew how to control it because Allah ﷻ had given him what? حُكْم—firmness, wisdom, the ability to judge and restrain himself.

Also, the saying of “We should avert from him evil and immorality.” highlights what a horrible thing it is to truly fall into zina. Even Yusuf, a prophet, is not exempted from this consequence if he had done otherwise.

1. The ayah is not hyper-focused on the woman

Allah doesn’t say things like:

“Yusuf would have inclined to her, but don’t worry—it wouldn’t have been his fault because she started it.”

Allah doesn’t shift the responsibility for Yusuf’s potential actions onto the woman.

That is incredibly powerful.

Of course, just to be crystal clear: the wife of al-ʿAziz was absolutely doing something sinful. She was actively seducing Yusuf (AS) behind her husband’s back, and the Qur’an is not praising her actions.

Instead, we are seeing that just because one person is committing a sin doesn't give you an excuse to commit one too.

Just because a woman is pursuing you, flirting with you, inviting you — you, as a man, still don’t have an excuse.

As women, whenever we see a man has done something wrong to another woman, the conversation always becomes:

• “What was she wearing?”

• “Why was she alone with him?”

• “What did she expect?”

But that’s not what {12:24} shows us.

In this scenario, Allah still presents how Yusuf (AS) acted as a morally responsible human being.

Her actions, while desiring him, did not erase his agency.

So how can we possibly come up with an entire theology where men are supposedly incapable of controlling themselves unless women cover up?

2. Temptation does not cancel responsibility.

The doors were closed (literally).

And Yusuf (AS) had a moment of inclination.

But he didn’t say, “Well, what else could I do?”

He didn’t take advantage of the circumstances.

Instead, he chose Allah.

This is important because, unfortunately, many speak about male desire as though the moment the temptation becomes strong enough, the concept of holding onto one’s responsibility is “too much” and therefore it disappears.

But the Qur’an commands us to see the correct picture.

The stronger the temptation, the more meaningful the restraint is.

And that means we should never teach men that their desires are so powerful that at some point a woman should take the blame.

3. Real self-control comes from knowing Allah.

The ayah doesn’t say that Yusuf (AS) resisted simply because he had incredible willpower.

If we go back, Allah says:

“and he would have inclined to her had he not seen the proof of his Lord. And thus [it was] that We should avert from him evil and immorality.” {12:24}

Yusuf (AS) overcame this trial by seeing Allah’s proof more clearly than he saw the temptation in right in front of him.

Many scholars have differed on what exactly “the proof of his Lord” meant, some say it was the face of al-Aziz (the husband and Yusuf’s master) presented before him, others say it was a verse from the Qur’an that Yusuf saw when he looked up at the ceiling.

No one knows for sure, and since Allah didn’t explicitly say what it actually was, we shouldn’t dwell on it.

Because regardless, Yusuf’s relationship with Allah is what affected his decision to run away from the woman.

And that is the biggest lesson for us:

Self-control is about becoming a person whose love and fear of Allah are stronger than their desires.

The Qur’an immortalizes Yusuf (AS) as a man who was tempted for a moment but still chose Allah.

And that distinction matters so much when we talk about hijab.

Because if Yusuf (AS) can experience desire without turning that same desire into an excuse for sin, then we simply cannot reduce men to uncontrollable creatures who “can’t help themselves.”

And frankly, Allah has always gave men more dignity than that...

I once brought up this whole explanation before, and this was the response I got from some Muslims, both men and women.

Yes, Yusuf (AS) was a prophet.

Yes, Allah protected him.

But Allah didn’t reveal his history to be some sort of unattainable standard.

The Qur’an was revealed for one reason only: as guidance.

At the end of Surah Yusuf, the same surah where we got {12:24}, Allah says:

“There was certainly in their stories a lesson for those of understanding. {12:111}

Think about it.

If every difficult act of worship could be dismissed with, “Well, they were prophets,” then the stories of Suleiman’s intelligence, Ibrahim’s sacrifice, Musa’s courage, Yaqoub’s iman and Yusuf’s chastity would be pointless for us to learn.

The Qur’an doesn’t narrate them as special exceptions to ignore. It presents them as examples to follow.

Now, it’s true that Allah helped Yusuf (AS).

But here’s the important and more beautiful question behind that come full circle after your finger has grazed the page from that ayah:

When has Allah ever commanded us to do something without offering His help too?

Allah promises it all the time:

“And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways.” {29:69}

“Indeed, Allah is with those who fear Him and those who are doers of good.” {16:128}

Allah will always help the believer who sincerely strives to obey Him.

The answer to temptation in this dunya isn’t, “Men can’t control themselves.”

It’s, “Seek Allah’s help to control yourself.”

Islam never taught men that they are powerless before desire. That’s why they are repeatedly commanded to master it.

That’s where we get the ayah we all know:

“Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.” {24:30}

Notice that it’s never:

“Lower your gaze... unless the temptation is too much” “Guard your chastity... unless the woman is very beautiful.”

Allah simply commands it. Because He knows you can do it.

(But for some Muslim men…they just don’t want to. May Allah protect us)

Is Yusuf’s level of righteousness higher than ours? Absolutely. Does his taqwa surpass that of ordinary believers today? Without a doubt.

But that doesn’t change the underlying principles of this deen.

So the next time someone tells you:

“You only wear hijab because men can’t control themselves,”

Remember Yusuf (AS) and {12:24}.

Remember that Allah gave us the story of a man who was tempted—and did not surrender to his temptation.

Remember that Islam never needed to turn men into animals in order to command women to be modest (because it is so much more than that).

And remember this above all:

No man’s gaze gets to define what hijab means.

Men are responsible for their desires.

Women are responsible for their desires.

And neither one needs to be reduced to cancel out the other.

Don’t let anyone—man or woman—ever take that relationship away from you.

With love and sisterhood,

Her Deen & Dunya

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