The art of rest

It’s nearly August. We’re in peak summer. Which means that the internet is filled with people relaxing. Or so it seems.

But here you are and you feel guilty. Guilty for not taking a break. Guilty for working. Guilty for not being somewhere sunnier. Guilty for being somewhere sunnier.

And if you do rest you feel guilty for that too. Naturally.

I wrote a few weeks ago about the over-optimisation of our lives. And this week I realised how much we’re also over-optimising rest.

So much so that we’re cramming productivity into our downtime. All in the name of setting ourselves up for success.

We spend our weekends prepping for the week ahead, writing to-do lists, meal prepping, sneaking in a look at our emails so Monday morning isn’t overwhelming and there are no surprises.

Even worse when we think of having a few weeks off. We think I’ll get to that or I’ll give that some headspace on holiday… I can think about that when I’m on the beach, or by the pool, or when I’m walking the dog… I’ll use my time relaxing to think about how productive I’m going to be when I’ve finishing “resting”.

I find this is especially true if you run a business or work for yourself. It feels like there is no off button.

So what happens is you end up in this cycle where your brain is supposed to switch off, but instead you give it a job. Cheap dopamine from your phone and “productive” relaxation with a mental to-do list of things you’ve told yourself you’ll do when you’re relaxing.

And guess what happens? You don’t do the thinking you said you were going to do because you get sucked into your phone. You can’t remember why you were sucked into your phone. You can’t remember any of it and you feel guilty for all of it. No real relaxing happened and your resting to-do list stayed unchecked.

I’m not surprised we’re all tired and I’m not surprised we don’t feel rested.

I was chatting through this with a few friends who play professional sport this week, and despite being friends since we were teenagers, I was genuinely shocked to hear their approach to rest and how much of a priority it is.

From the outside, you would assume their days are packed with training, games, meetings and gym sessions. And whilst yes, that is true, they do all of those things, I was surprised to hear that they don’t work for more than 5 hours a day (at a maximum) and each individual session or task lasts no longer than 90 minutes.

The rest of the time is for rest. Complete rest not performative rest.

They treat rest as a skill. Just like drills, or training, or games or the gym. It’s an art they are practicing.

So what would it look like if we took that approach from professional sport and applied it to every day life and running a business? What if we started approaching rest as a skill that is just as important as everything else?

Well to start off with we’d probably start taking it a lot more seriously. We’d allocate time and energy to it. Give it structure and not rob it blind of time in our calendar and pack it full of productive thinking.

We’d plan it.

Now I know I just said that performative rest isn’t actually rest but stick with me.

I think planning rest and doing things you actually enjoy and that enable you to complete switch off the deep-thinking part of your brain is an act of self-care.

To a certain extent I think we need structure. Or at least I do. Because if we don’t have structure to rest, then we’ll fill it with that sneaky phone dopamine addiction or fall back into checking things off that productive to-do list.

We deserve to read books. To swim in the sea. To play cards. To colour in. To build lego. To walk the dog and not think. To do things that make us happy and feel rested.

And ironically in doing so that’s when we actually become better at work.

Because it can be so tempting to get into a place where things are working, you’re in a flow state or you are building momentum and you think, “I can’t stop now, I’m on a roll” or, “I’ll just push through and then I’ll take a break”. But your brain can’t keep pushing. You might want it to, but it can’t. At least not well.

But when we rest, that’s when things fall into place. Your brain enters a state of diffuse thinking, subconsciously connecting ideas, working through problems and making new connections that your focused brain could never do, no matter how hard you try.

For August, once again I will be practicing what I preach.

And whilst I won’t be off work for the whole month, I do have some stretches planned (including a full digital switch off!) where I have intentionally carved out time for rest.

And that means I’m also relaxing my schedule a bit too. So whilst I ordinarily publish every Sunday, for August, I might — or I might not. We’ll see where the month takes us.

I’ll still be here in the week though because I’m too Virgo and Type A to not publish in the week too!

Would love to hear your thoughts on the art of rest in the comments. How are you spending your summer? And are you resting?