How I’m romanticizing preconception prep

After miscarrying my first baby, I was convinced I needed to be hyper-vigilant, well-tested, fully informed & quite frankly, obsessive to have a healthy pregnancy. Many women experience a miscarriage at some point, and many go on to have other successful pregnancies. But my health anxiety completely took over when we lost our baby & I was convinced I needed fixing before I got pregnant again. And there is no way to know if I did in fact need fixing, because if you look for something wrong with you, especially from a functional medicine perspective, you will probably find plenty.

Now you probably are thinking, “Audrey, what are you talking about? You love functional medicine???” And yes, I do. I am thankful I would never settle for a dooming diagnosis and a “There is nothing to be done except take ____ medication for the rest of your life.” I LOVE that the functional medicine space provides answers when answers are needed. The issue is, as someone with health anxiety, I reallllly tend to think I need answers when I actually just need to surrender & live my life.

So sadly, the season after my miscarriage, prepping to try again, was filled with doctor’s appointments & testing. And we definitely found some areas my body “needed” support. Once I got pregnant, I was terrified. I went on to see a “fertility specialist” who told me to come in for labs weekly & ultrasounds every other week. And I listened because I didn’t trust my body. So my first trimester was spent waiting for lab results that I was convinced were going to tell me I would lose my baby again, instead of just basking in the absolute holiness of bringing life onto earth. Thank Jesus, I did not miscarry again. And I am now raising a beautiful 16-month-old girl, Lennon-Jo. But I still grieve the way I mistrusted my body, mistrusted God.

And so, going into this next season of preparing for baby #2, I am focusing a lot less on labs & numbers and much more on romanticizing the process. Am I still focused on feeling my best before getting pregnant? YES. Will I still run some labs? Most likely. But I am determined to make the majority of my prep actually enjoyable. Because I believe that pleasure is nourishment & medicine to a woman’s body, while fear and grasping for control are poison to her.

Here are the ways I plan to romanticize this season of preparation:

• Rose rose rose — But seriously, what is more romantic than rose? When I was pregnant with Lennon, I became obsessed with rose anything. Rose in my tea, rose in my chocolate, rose body oil, rose facial mist. I felt like I could drink a gallon of rose essential oil. And then I saw Andra Sitoianu share that rose is one of the most high-vibrational plants, measuring at 320 MHz, and was like, “Ohhhh, it makes sense now.” My body was craving that energy! Rose has also been shown to increase libido & improve reproductive system function. So, during this season of prepping to conceive, I plan to take baths with rose essential oil, add organic dried rose petals to my tea & continue using my favorite rose water facial mist!

• A ton of sunshine — Especially on my womb!! Our eggs are incredibly rich in mitochondria. And do you know what charges our mitochondria? THE SUN. And my eggs being charged up & as healthy as possible is a huge priority for me. My egg will CHOOSE the sperm to create a baby & a super healthy egg will be attracted to the healthiest sperm available. Not to mention that getting enough sunshine (morning, midday & evening) is absolutely vital in creating enough progesterone & estrogen. So lots of sunbathing sessions will be involved in this season of preconception prep.

• Utilizing the gifts bees give us — Specifically royal jelly, but also honey, bee pollen & bee bread are all amazing for fertility. If you have followed me for a while, you know how passionate I am about bee products & the benefits they offer us. Royal jelly has been shown to increase both progesterone & estrogen (PMID: 29043701), as well as decrease oxidative stress in the body, which means less oxidative stress (aging) on our eggs. I am actually taking a beekeeping class in September to connect with their process & am so excited to learn from them!

• Connecting with nature — There is a reason we call it “mother nature.” Nature shows us how easy it is to create something spectacular from practically nothing. Think about a tiny little seed producing a lush bush of juicy blackberries. I truly believe spending as much time as possible in nature while prepping to conceive is one of the best things both a woman & a man can do! The sun has incredible benefits, grounding has incredible benefits & fresh air has incredible benefits! I am booking a camping trip, taking up gardening once it cools down, and grounding every morning. Also, being in nature is just so pleasurable & peaceful, which in turn is so so good for your womb!

• Vaginal steaming & red light therapy — Creating an intentional time to really focus on praying over my womb while bringing warmth & nourishment to her is a priority for me. A warm womb is keyyyy for preparing for conception. Andddd I find these practices pleasurable, but they may not be for you! Vaginal steaming increases blood flow within the pelvic bowl (PLEASE be very careful not to do it too hot) & red light therapy on the womb does the same thing that the sun does: charges the mitochondria. These are the herbs I use for vaginal steaming & this is the red light/sauna I will be shining on my core during each session!

• Movement I love — Yes, rest is important for fertility. But so is movement. Especially movement you love! Movement is needed for the circulation of progesterone, a key hormone in getting & sustaining a pregnancy! And building muscle is incredible for a healthy pregnancy, specifically for blood sugar control & liver health! I am personally aiming for at least 20 minutes a day of intentional movement & once it’s cooler, I will add in multiple walks a day as well. This is my current routine, although I am sure I will continue to switch it up: 3x a week, I am doing a strength training workout I either make up or follow along with Kara Duval ! 2x per week I am doing Bowspring with Paris & 2x per week I am doing Qigong, also with Kara Duval !

• A daily delicious fertility tonic — I am beyond obsessed with Milk Moon’s (code: AUDREY15) postpartum & fertility tonics. I am currently still using the postpartum tonic, but when we get closer to TTC (probably about 3 months out), I will switch to the fertility tonic! I drink it with warm water & a little bit of apple cider vinegar. Such a lovely, delicious & nourishing daily ritual!

• Delicious fertility-boosting nourishment — Soups & stews, custardy egg-yolk oats, tons of fresh fruit, buttered potatoes & lemony bean salads. All of these will be key in my preparation! No, I will not be choking down sardines because I don’t like sardines. I will eat foods I love that also nourish me!

• Cozy lighting always — I truly had no idea how harsh bright LEDs were until I switched them out. Now, whenever I am somewhere at night that has bright LEDs, I truly feel like I am being slightly tortured 😂 But seriously, I now believe that honoring my circadian rhythm & supporting my melatonin production is one of the kindest things I can do for my body in this season. When we turn on bright LEDs or look at blue light post sundown, it decreases our melatonin production significantly. Melatonin naturally detoxes the body and is anti-inflammatory. Not to mention the research coming out about melatonin increasing egg quality. I love sticking to candlelight & Healthy Home’s (code: HEALTHYHONEY) lightbulbs post sundown!

• Oxytocin maxxing — This entire article is filled with ways I am planning to increase my oxytocin because, as I said above, pleasure is nourishment & medicine to a woman’s body, while fear and grasping for control are poison to her. I believe this with every fiber of my being because of my lived experience. I did everything “right” before getting pregnant with Lennon. Full transparency, I spent around $10,000 on functional labs because I was so convinced something was severely wrong with me. I am legit so embarrassed to admit that. Granted, I had reason to believe my medical share at the time was going to cover the labs, and they didn’t…Anyways, I had a few things I could tweak, but overall I was told everything looked great. And guess what? I still ended up with a liver condition during pregnancy. And although I can never know for certain why that was, I can’t think of anything that would have caused my liver so much stress except for the pure terror & stress I was experiencing daily in my first trimester. So I am giving my body the medicine it truly needs this time — oxytocin! Does that mean I will have a perfect pregnancy? Probably not, but at least I won’t be as stressed about it lol. Sooooo, lots of cuddles with Justin & Lennon, candle-lit dinners, basking in the sun, eating delicious & fresh food slowly, a glass of wine if I want it, sex that isn’t scheduled, hosting themed parties, sitting at the feet of Jesus. This is what I want this season to be filled with!

What would you add to this list? Let’s inspire each other!

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