buffy x supernatural

this is an ongoing buffyverse x supernatural saga that lives entirely in my own head. I haven’t watched supernatural seasons 14 or 15 yet, even though I have the earlier seasons playing constantly.

sam and dean keep getting alerts of a petite blonde being at the scenes of weird. they start hunting her, thinking she is the big bad, only to find her in a battle scene with the actual big bad and realize she’s a hunter. there is a ‘hey boys nice of you to actually catch up finally’ and an intense brother chat next to the parked car after the battle is won about wtf is a slayer and whether or not to trust her & the scoobies.

there is a very buffy-esque relationship with sam, it is very triggering for buffy because sam loses his soul a lot (but that on again off again soul thing seems to be what she’s into) Dean gets fussed all the time because she’s not “family” and Sam usually takes her side. dean never wants her to come along on jobs, motel arrangements were a lot easier when it was just him and sam. buffy thinks he is a dumb brute, and is super grossed out when she finds his Asian porn stash. they are forced to work together when sam gets samnapped and have a reconciliation, acknowledging that they are both natural warriors (but she has the upper hand).

buffy refers to the angel swords as shiny stakes.

Giles and Bobby bristle at first because bobby thinks giles is snooty. they wind up getting scotch drunk and swap stories about the dumb things their demon hunting adopted kids have done and then are besties.

the council and the men of letters had beef ages ago and that’s why Giles never mentioned them. he is impressed with the bunker but reluctant to work with the boys at first because the MIL are kinda creepy like the Initiative was. he does love the school-library-but-with-drinks vibe its got going for it.

Buffy visits her mom in heaven and wants to stay, Cass has to pull her out or the walls between the natural order of things is irrevocable altered, it is very sad.

Giles gets kidnapped by Metatron who wants Giles to be the first prophet of his reign as lord. It gets foiled, but not before Giles is imbued with the translation powers of a prophet, a skill that comes in handy in multiple story lines.

Buffy and Lucifer have a pun-off (and it’s a tie).

Garth and Oz run a werewolf not swearwolf monthly meditation group retreat where kate hosts workshops called friends not food. veruca is a cautionary tale.

dean and faith bang. this is obvious.

Spike and Crowley have some scheme going on all the time that is always foiled by the boys and the scoobies.

willow remains an absolute loose cannon and goes dark with Rowena. it is a redhead party time excellent with some very cool time travel to a medieval coven in the scottish highlands that sassed rowena centuries ago so now they are there to steal all of their magics.

charlie gets back from oz (oz oz, not meditation retreat oz). willow is surprised to see her again after the final battle at Sunnydale, which charlie doesn’t remember at all. Charlie isn’t even Charlie’s name, so no surprise that she isn’t Vi anymore. willow is currently good willow and does a (consensual) memory spell, and now charlie is a slayer again.

willow & charlie have to save the day with their hacking skills. there are sparks, tara visits from heaven and gives her blessing for willow to move on. it is very emotional and glowy. charlie is pretty ok with the magic since a. That’s how she’s a slayer (again) B. as long as willow is only skinning warren types, which we can all agree is warranted (i would not stand a chance in the buffy v lucifer pun off).

in all honesty, there really should be spin off shows or at least a min-series of spike & crowley and willow & rowena.

anya (did not receive that fuck you that whedon gave her and is doing just fine as a vengeance demon) and cass are an absolute deadpan delight and spend all eternity being literal together. they are meant to be.

dawn is still a pain in the ass and has to be rescued all the time. she and jack do dumb kid shit that is very concerning to all of the adults.

xander is still a misogynst and now hates sam because here’s one more guy that buffy loves that isn’t him. chuck and dean both like xander a lot. it is likely that xander and becky hook up, and are both very embarrassed by it (becky is more embarrassed).

the scooby doo cross over is now extremely meta. buffy and daphne tell each other how pretty they are.

(I actually still haven’t watched supernatural seasons 14 or 15 yet, I’m kinda saving them)