I got married in 2017, about a decade before the “Instagram wedding” became a thing… and I feel grateful for that. Mostly because my wedding in Morocco was something that Brendan and I got to experience without thinking about how it would translate online. We didn’t have to wonder about whether or not we were getting enough TikTok content; we were able to party it up and really live in the moment.
The big-Instagram-content-wedding has been top of mind because my algorithm is full of them, and I’m talking specifically about Acquired Style (who shared so much), or Jordyn Woods (who shared so little though so much was shared about it). Among influencers, there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to the spectrum of sharing vs. not sharing.
I was just joking on an IG post that if you have plans with me, I’ll be turning it into content, but It’s a hard boundary to maintain when sharing is part of your job and I’ve had to become much more disciplined about protecting time that is just ours. Taking time away from my phone actually comes quite naturally to me despite living online as an occupation.
I think that’s mostly because I didn’t have social media until after college (Facebook in college doesn’t count lol - it was like an extension of MySpace). I do really feel for the younger generation because they feel totally consumed by social media and they grew up with different access and a different relationship to it then us millennials.
And lately I’ve been thinking about the parts of my life I didn’t monetize back then that I probably would, or at least could have, monetized now.
And back to the wedding of it all: Obviously some content creators love posting about their wedding in the moment. They want to post about it! They’ve spent years building an audience that is invested in their lives and their followers genuinely want to experience the wedding alongside them. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing it, and certainly not with monetizing it. I am always pro women getting their bag. I just don’t envy the amount of work involved in turning it out at the exact moment you’re also supposed to be completely present.
I’m noticing that the “influencer” path has certain milestones that mirror what is supposed to be real life, and having a wedding becomes a part of your media strategy. I’m sure a lot of creators have social teams helping them map all of this out which hopefully allows them to actually enjoy the day, but even then, it must feel difficult to get married with what is essentially an editorial calendar attached.
Brendan and I celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary in May while we were in Seoul and I didn’t post anything. We were busy having fun and living our lives and getting scalp treatments and it just never became a post even though I know that it would “perform well” because anniversary posts tend to. And it felt nice not to post it.
That’s what I’m grateful for when I look back at my 2017 wedding. I’m glad that I was able to wear a lace cover-up that says “Fallis” on it that dated the whole ordeal, I loved my dress, the ceremony was intimate and fun, we of course took a million photos but we were able to look and treasure them together instead of just sifting through the images to decide on which one to post on IG in collaboration with a brand.
Anyway, this boundary is one that is not just beholden to content creators, because it spills out into everyone’s Instagram behavior. Does the pressure to post take away from these special moments in real life? Let me know your thoughts!
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