We learn to write to-do lists, schedule our days, and get shit done, but we rarely talk about the fact that we won’t cross the finish line or empty the lists.
A couple of years ago, I decided to say no to ten amazing things every year. To say no to the ski trip, the dinner with that amazing person, and the board position in a company I love. It made my life a lot easier, and it all came together when I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s view on it:
It’s all too easy to assume that [prioritization] merely entails finding the courage to decline various tedious things you never wanted to do in the first place. It’s much harder than that. You need to learn how to start saying no to things you do want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life. — Elizabeth Gilbert
The easiest way to do this is force ranking.
Take two things: skiing in January or speaking at the conference in July. You can choose one. Skiing won that one. Now, pick up the wedding you’re invited to in August. Skiing loses. Continue — compare the conference to the wedding. Finally, you have a top three (or less) that you’ll do, and you (cryingly) decline the rest.
Most of the time, you suddenly feel relief. These are the Brazil Nuts [1].
I don’t advocate doing this with to-dos. I also hate it when I forget something, and there’s a special place in hell for people who say, “If it’s important, it will come back to you.” No, I like writing lists, but sometimes, I stare at them and realize it won’t work. Then I take out the hatchet and cut away.
[1] When you have a bowl of nuts, the Brazil nuts end up on top due to granular convection and percolation. Look up “The Brazil Nut Effect” to learn more.
Brazil Nut Prioritization was originally published in Thinking about Startups on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
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