What Solopreneurs Don’t Talk About

Feast or famine. That’s what it feels like running a business these days.

Pretty much ALL THE TIME.

I’m three plus years into my solopreneur journey and my annual revenue snapshot still lights up like a Christmas tree.

Good months.
Great months.
And some very shitty months.

It’s all part of the process and while I’ve learned to push through the discomfort these moments bring, I’m not a fan. I don’t know any entrepreneur who is.

Cash flow affects everything. I mean everything. Not just whether I can pay my bills. But how I show up, how I think, how I move.

For example, when I have enough money in the bank to cover my bills for at least 2-3 months, I get a swagger in my step that even I don’t recognize. I notice that my client conversations are easier, that I’m more creative with my work, that I don’t second guess my pricing. Everything feels effortless. I laugh more. I relax. I can take time to smell the flowers. It’s in those moments that I think to myself “Wow, I’m doing it. I’m living the life of my dreams. I’m the luckiest girl in the world!”.

I remember the first time I felt this way. About a year or two ago. I thought I had “made it”. That I had finally discovered the key to entrepreneurship success.

Silly girl.

Little did I know that I would go deep into those moments of uncertainty again. Not because I don’t know how to run a business, but because my work is seasonal, the economy is bananas, and DEI is under attack.

Then there are those times when you’ve closed the deal, did the work, and you still got nothing to show for it.

Why?

Cause clients be playing with our money.

This is something so frustrating that could totally be avoided.

Because I didn’t forget to show up for the gig.

I delivered on time.

And my expectation is that you will transfer money into my account in a timely fashion without me having to hound you incessantly.

There should be a law. If a company earns over a certain threshold, they should be required to pay small business owners within 30 days or else face penalties.

Especially when the amounts are under a certain threshold. Cause let’s keep it real. I’m not earning millions of dollars on any of my deals. I should be able to get my money within a reasonable timeframe without having to jump through so many hoops.

Honestly, it’s giving Rihanna rolling up on Jimmy Kimmel and jumping on his bed while singing Bitch better have my money. Lol.

But I digress.

I have become a wizard at figuring out what bills to pay with which money to get everything paid on time, without any interest or overdraft fees. I haven’t fucked it up yet. But it’s bound to happen.

Because literally I have to be doing mental gymnastics all month to figure out when a charge will hit, how much money I will owe, whether I have enough money in my operating accounts, will I need to move money from my savings account, etc.

It’s a bear.

You can already see why this is so stressful.

To complicate matters, as a US company I get paid in USD which I then have to convert into Euros to pay my bills here. And that requires a few days lead time. So that just adds to all the fun I’m already having.

The stress levels I feel some days affects my gut, my sleep, and my ability to be fully present.

Because in the back of my mind I'm already calculating whether I can afford a cup of coffee, something from the grocery store, or a small treat at the end of a long week.

I know nobody wants to talk about this part.

Because it’s hard.

Embarrassing.

Even a bit shameful.

I was a corporate exec earning a nice six-figure salary, with a bonus, 401K, and company-sponsored healthcare.

Now I gotta worry about whether I’ll make my revenue target for the month, when the money will come in, and whether it will be enough to cover me for the foreseeable future.

That’s the life of an entrepreneur.

That’s how it works.

And it’s not just a startup thing.

Because I talk to a lot of other solopreneurs that have owned their business for years and many share the same challenges. The same ups and downs. The same feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.

The answer?

Keep betting on yourself.

Find ways to generate new leads.

Charge more.

Diversify your revenue streams.

Create passive income.

Say no to underpaid work.

Take on side hustles.

Ask for deposits up front.

Tighten those payment terms.

Find your people so you’re not doing this alone.

I wrote this essay because I wish someone had written it for me. I wish I knew more about how this journey would impact me. About how I could feel like a million bucks one day and have so many feelings of angst the next.

If this is you right now, I see you.

If you are moving money around, waiting on a check, or wondering where the next lead will come from, you are not alone.

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