Texting lingo. A casual way of communicating with someone or a nefarious attempt at subliminal coding? Acronyms, abbreviations, internet slang, and even emojis are all methods that people use to shorten their text characters, always leading to contextual confusion. LOL, OMG, WTF are so 2010s with new shortened words and phrases emerging almost every day within the internet zeitgeist. The communicated language is sloppy and ultimately making us dumber, but it does provide shortcuts and humor along the way. I’m always a slow adapter to what the kids are saying on their smart devices. Recently I discovered that AF is all the rage these days with a literal translation as fuck. What the significance of da bomb was in the 90s I believe AF is here to stay and will be grandfathered in for the rest of the 21st century.
The issue with AF is that it’s a full-blown homonym. When phrases have dual meanings in usage, hilarity always ensues. I don’t know about you but I’m full-on homo for this -nym. When I hear or see AF out in the world, one must utilize their critical thinking skills to decipher the hidden meaning of the terminology. When I see AF, Air Force is usually what comes to mind. The military makes good use of acronyms and abbreviations, and I feel that Air Force is the OG of AF. Currently with our most recent holy war, the (Ch)Air Force is bombing the living fuck out of the Ayatollahs’ facilities and needlessly bombing girls’ schools since the AF is incompetent AF when it comes to updating its target tracking lists. WTF people!?! The bureaucratic ineptitude of the Air Force needs to be thoroughly scrutinized AF to the utmost degree.
Then you have A&F. You weren’t preppy enough or cool unless you were rocking Abercrombie and Fitch in the late 90s, with your frosted tips on the way to a boy band concert. A&F was cool AF up until it’s advertising was hypersexualized and only catered to beautiful white people. A&F might have been Caucasian as fuck, but it was the ultimate fashion for sexy beach buoys and gulls strutting their stuff on the Carolina Coast. The T-shirts, cargo shorts and other forms of outerwear were sexy AF, and the quarterly catalog was sexualizing AF. Back in high school, I was never cool AF enough to sport these threads and quite frankly didn’t give a fuck about A&F.
AF can also be used as an informal abbreviation for Afghanistan. Having never been over there, I can say that country is backwards AF and illiterate AF. The opium exports over there flooding American cities are scary AF and sad AF. Operation Enduring Freedom was a massive cluster fuck and wasteful AF. Spending 20 years to replace the Taliban with the Taliban 2.0 was stupid AF. We weren’t there to protect girls going to school, the land of the Ghan is a petro state (Trans-Caspian pipeline), an electro state (rich lithium deposits), and a narco state (opium), anyone telling you otherwise is untruthful AF. And if you find yourself ever riding a Jinga truck over the Khyber Pass on the way to play a game of Buzkashi always make sure to get insured with Aflac while in the AfPak. Insured AF.
Air France is the nation’s flagship carrier and transports Yankees to Paris. The American travelers can be rude AF on their way over to Parisian cafes where the waiters are ruder AF. Since they’re absolutely French and air fabulous their adventure flights will always whisk you away to Après Frances. AF can take you across France, show you the authentic French culture, and will always assist you in arriving fancy. AF is professional AF and once you get settled into your French adventure the mimes are funnier AF.
The Anarchist Federation is yet another extension of AF wordplay. The term is used to describe anarchist political organizations in the UK and other European nations. AF is a network of anarchists that advocate for the complete absence of a centralized government and institutional hierarchies. Their ideas are stupid as fuck and would never work. Anything treading along anarcho-communist ideals are subversive as fuck and these fucks shouldn’t be given any sort of platform. How can you have an organization dedicated to anarchist ideals when your whole belief system is dedicated to overthrowing all order and organizations?!? The AF as a whole is foolish as fuck and knuckleheaded AF.
Anthony Fauci is controversial AF and will go down in history as the evilest bureaucrat in American history. He is the biggest liar, deceiver, manipulator, media whore and perpetrator of crimes against humanity. He tops the list on all these categories since he’s crooked AF. Fauci’s ouchies, along with his lineup of journalist and actress groupies, is sickening AF since he’s sicker than fuck. From AIDS to COVID this absolute fuck stain was an arrogant fool and set back society’s trust in public health for decades. Not only was he an absolute failure but he’s a compulsive liar and an absolute fraud. Manufacturing artificial fear through television interviews, his policy recommendations shut down schools ensuring young children of an awful future. Tony’s abusive force has led to an adverse fallout in touting that being vaxxed and waxed is somehow hip. Him and his cronies were in violation of the Nuremburg Code consistently AF. This arrogant fuck needs to be taken out back, have his head shaved and coerced into intravenous drug use.
I don’t know about you but I’m sick AF when it comes to getting my references mixed up. Spell it out when you’re making your point. Instead of saying AF (as fuck) use it fucks (IF) instead. Take Intermittent Fasting, it’s all the rage in the dietary trend universe and by golly IF. The Institute of Food IF to the max! The International Forestry Foundation (IFF)? It fucks to the IFth degree. In fact, it’s impact factor infinitely fucks harder and longer than anything to do with International Finance. Enough with the intermediate frequency of lazy jargon in text exchanges. It’s annoying AF and doesn’t meet the threshold of IF. If you want to be a spelling bee champ your vocabulary needs to be tight as fuck. Spell it out and use it in a sentence. As if wordsmith masterminds need any more attention since they effing get it from the get-go.
Brian Ss
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