No, thank you

"Respect is a two-way street.
If you want to get it, you've got to give it." 
- R.G. Risch

Our journey toward a peaceful home with kids who get along began with three little words.

“No, thank you.”

It wasn’t our idea. We picked it up from a cousin by watching his family. Over the years, we’ve come to understand a lot about what those words have done for our family.

Those words helped form two rules that have the power to transform a family from one that fights to one that gets along. The three little words and the two rules are what have made a significant difference for us. And I know that they have the power to make a difference for your family too.

Right off the bat, something to note… We do things a certain way in our home. Not everything will work for yours in exactly the same way. I am going to share some things that have made a big difference for us. My hope is that you’ll take them and adapt them to your family, to your unique circumstances, and even make them better. Feel free to share those insights with us.

Over the years, as we’ve talked with many parents about how to have a harmonious home, we almost always start by first talking about, “No, thank you.”

Now, "No, thank you," is just another phrase if it is left to fend for itself all on its own. But, backed by the understanding of two very important and useful family rules, these words have become like a magic spell in the mouths of those who utter them around these parts.

Rule #1: If someone does something you don’t like, say, “No, thank you.”

Rule #2: If he or she won’t listen to you, tell Mom or Dad.

That’s it. Two rules of engagement. Though they’re simple, they’re not weak.

In future articles, I’ll unpack a lot of what these rules have done and why they’re important. There are so many principles distilled into these two little rules. And they work for almost any age. Toddlers (with some modifications), adolescents, teens, young adults, and even their parents.

We will also break down how to use them, how to cut through the stories that kids make up to get out of trouble and shift the blame, how to handle kids who won’t listen and throw fits, and how to back up the two family rules with patience yet firmness.

If you’ve got kids who fight, argue, bicker, yell, holler, and scream at each other, I recommend taking on these two little rules. Soon, you’ll understand why they can be so powerful when understood and used correctly.

“No, thank you.”

Tell Mom and Dad.

Questions?  Comments?  Let us know.

For the next installment in the “No, thank you” series, click here.