Loving Out Loud

When people ask whom I would most like to have dinner with, Fred Rogers is always on my guest list.

As a Pittsburgh girl, Fred Rogers has shaped my identity on the level of black and yellow, Heinz ketchup, and golden bridges.

It was the honor of a lifetime to be selected to present my workshop “It’s You I Like: Building Confidence, Curiosity and Connection Through Your Voice” for the Fred Rogers Institute’s sold-out, fourth annual Work of Fred Rogers Conference at Saint Vincent College’s Fred Rogers Center in Latrobe, PA.

As delighted as I was to speak, it was an equal gift to learn from Fred Rogers and his brilliant legacy through my colleagues and the Fred Rogers archives.

Attendees of the conference came from 36 states, plus Canada and the United Kingdom. They represented a range of professions, from early childhood educators and college professors to ministers and therapists. Everyone was welcome.

Repeated themes appeared throughout the two days of keynotes and workshops: presence, curiosity, nervous system regulation, social-emotional learning, and more.

The conference was uplifting and inspiring, and I left with one lingering question:

How can I be a better human?

Fred Rogers lived his life with such extreme integrity that he weighed exactly 143 pounds every morning - because the words “I love you” have one, four, and three letters, respectively.

While that level of discipline sounds impossible for most of us, I synthesized my notes into four main takeaways that I hope will lead to living with greater intention, alignment, and accordance with my values.

The four practices that I would like to focus on in my life are:

The Discipline of Staying Human

In the age of AI, I constantly ask myself what can be outsourced and what can never be replaced. Fred Rogers was a television pioneer - an advocate for and early adopter of large-scale technology use. And yet above all, he prioritized human connection and honored the dignity of each person. The conference stressed the importance of human qualities, such as presence, vulnerability, and curiosity, in a world consumed by technological advances and distractions.

Building Consistency

My life has been craving more routine and structure for a while now. Consistency builds reliability, predictability, trust, and safety. Many of the conference’s conversations around consistency referred to education and outreach - building consistent practices for others to rely on - but my takeaway is the importance of building greater consistency for ourselves, as well. Despite my schedule varying every day, I’m feeling a strong pull to fill my life with more consistent practices to minimize the chaos of uncertainty and to deepen my self-trust, reliance, and regulation.

Staying Centered Amidst the Noise

Whether it’s the noise of screens, politics, clutter, over-consumption, or Negative Nancies, some days it feels as though everything is a threat to our nervous system. While we can certainly put boundaries and guardrails in place to lower the volume, true growth requires acceptance over avoidance. How can we stay at peace within ourselves when the outside world feels overwhelming? How can we incorporate more self-trust, play, and solitude to return home to ourselves again and again?

In voice lessons, students and clients typically do centering exercises with their eyes closed. Somatic Educator and Coach Colleen Stanevich encouraged us to tune into our bodies with our eyes open. While shutting your eyes may offer a safe escape, she said that keeping your eyes open proves to yourself that “you can stay centered when the world is coming at you.”

Loving Out Loud

Fred Rogers bravely loved out loud. He shared his interests, his passions, his creative voice, his devotion, and his care boldly and unabashedly. He made sure that every person he encountered knew that they mattered and that they were loved. In a time of nonchalance, Rogers was the ultimate “chalant.” Rather than protecting ourselves through apathy, it’s time that we all care clearly, love deeply, and show up fully.

If there is one overall conference takeaway that I would like to impart, it’s the concluding thought from Fred Rogers Institute Executive Director Emma Swift Lee:

Your presence is what matters most. You being here.

Forever and always, I hope you remember that the simple fact that you are here is enough.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your presence in my life and work.

What did you learn in your life from Mr. Rogers? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

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