Stardom

It’s 4 pm on a Tuesday and Markey asks what my writing prompt is. Today, I don’t have one. “Oh, you will figure it out. You always do,” she said cheerfully, as we muted and turned off our video. Our Writer’s Collective has a simple structure of brief hellos, sharing our writing prompts, and then getting to work. An hour later, we re-emerge to share our creations. Week after week, I lean into this life-sustaining rhythm. I’m so grateful for my rockstar writing buddies.

I can’t think of the last time I saw Kim - our kids favorite babysitter. He seems to have defied the aging process - except his jet-black hair now has whispers of grey. (that’s him above, in our living room) We ate lunch on the screen porch that didn’t exist when our kids were young. We needed him then. A lot. Kim stood in for my husband and I during the too-many-to-count retreats and classes the cult demanded of us. Over chopped salad and over-done London broil, he described dancing up a storm in the living room as a way to channel our kids’ boundless energy. In addition to being our #1 babysitter, Kim was also an employee at the cleaning company I bought and managed while under the cultic spell. It was humbling to watch him connect the dots when we shared the timing of our cultic involvement. He had been there through a lot of it. Most of all, however, it was heartwarming to reconnect with the young man who had been a star in our kids’ eyes.

As you most likely know: Dolly Parton, a star of stars, died on Tuesday. I’ve never been a country music fan but she brought me to tears more than once. For decades, I had judged and dismissed her as vain and shallow but more recently I came to admire her unapologetic, autonomous style. She knew what she wanted, how she wanted to look and had the means to make it happen. She had gobs of money and gave away more than I can fathom. It was her stunning generosity to children that melted my judging heart. I appreciate the soft twang of her recent self-deprecating comment about having to prioritize medical advice over “yet another plastic surgery”. As a sucker for farm-girls who succeed I believe that Dolly is one of the few true celebrities who deserves her pedestal. May she rest on it with sweet melodies soothing her.

It’s the rockstars of the cult recovery world who inspire my heart the most. Twice a year, I seek out the best of them to present at the Reclaiming Autonomy through the Written Word Writing Symposium. And I have to say: I’ve outdone myself this time.

Drumroll please…

On October 3rd, writers who want to reckon will have an extra-special opportunity to be inspired by and learn from these three stellar speakers:

Dr Laura Anderson:

Trauma Therapist, Researcher, Survivor, and Companion in Recovery

Robin Boyle Laisure:

Legal Scholar, Award-Winning Author, and Survivor Advocate

Hoyt Richards:

Screenwriter, Storyteller, Speaker: Inspiring Positive Change

I will be introducing each of them properly over the next few weeks. You can expect my Monday newsletters to be dedicated to this (and my Friday newsletters to be focused on the logistics and practicalities of the symposium.) You will be able to opt out of those emails, if you want. I have to say, the more I get to know each one of these speakers, the more confident I am that this will be a truly special event - one that I hope you won’t miss!

But there’s a conundrum.

As survivors of coercion, we’ve experienced the dark side of stardom. We have been harmed by people and principles that were given pedestals they did not deserve. We’ve lived through someone (or some doctrine) hijacking our minds and hearts while ravaging ours and others’ lives. People we love are still under that influence.

This is what we get to write about - to find the courage and the capacity to express this pain and therefore reclaim that which was unjustly taken from us through coercive means. Creative expression helps us to move forward in our lives, with dignity.

Is survivor stardom the brightest star of all? How will you let yours shine? And just as importantly: how will you assure that the people and practices you put on a pedestal today are in fact imbued with the integrity you hope for? Share your strategies, so we can all learn from them.

I invite you to ask yourself: Is now the time to register for Reclaiming Autonomy? It takes place online on October 3rd from 1-4 pm EST. The early-bird discount is $39.

Register for Reclaiming Autonomy $39