Reading · The Truffle Diaries

There are two types of women when it comes to style. Let’s call them Siobhan and Sophia. Siobhan knows exactly what suits her and sticks to it throughout all the passing trends. She loves fashion, and follows it closely but has the inherent ability to know precisely what pieces each season will work for her body shape and personal style, and which ones absolutely won’t. Siobhan makes very few ‘fashion mistakes’ or unwise impulse purchases. In turn, she always looks great, polished and put together, and most importantly, confident in what she’s wearing.

I am friends with a Siobhan. She’s maintained a similar hairstyle and colour for as long as I’ve known her (over 20 years). The beauty products she uses are similar from those from ten years ago, her wardrobe could absolutely be interchanged from one year to the next, yet rather than looking dated, boring or monotonous, she looks effortlessly chic and timeless.

Siobhan is the queen of investment pieces, because she knows what pieces to invest in. She invented the whole cost per wear theory, because it works for her. When she buys a luxury piece it gets worn year after year as it goes with practically every outfit. And let me reiterate, rather than looking repetitive and dull, this classic luxury staple looks chic and elegant. Think Carolyn Bessette (the ultimate Siobhan) with her black Birkin. I rest my case.

Siobhan is excellent at packing for a holiday, because her wardrobe is interchangeable. I’m not implying that she doesn’t have a few wild cards in her closet, it’s just that she has every base covered and every wardrobe staple in place so that everything works.

I aspire to be like Siobhan. I’m envious. No, jealous! Because I know I will never, ever be her. I am through and through, a Sophia.

Sophias spend far too much time than they care to admit thinking about clothes. They look at clothes online and in magazines, style, makeup, hair accounts, you name it. Sporting a new look gives them life. Whether it be a new style of dress, cut of jeans, hairstyle, lipstick colour, fringe, it’s all fair game. When Sophia sees someone else wearing something fabulous they want a piece of that action, regardless of whether it will suit them or not. A beautiful piece of clothing is far too irresistible to let something as trivial as practicality get in the way. Sophias are great at being in a constant state of denial. They know that wispy silk spaghetti strap dress is going to be a nightmare to pull off with their fuller bust but sod it… They’ll just spend an hour deep diving into the very best strapless bra money can buy in order to solve the problem, rather that just accepting the beautiful dress might not work on their figure. My best friend, who also happens to be my hairdresser, encounters Siobhans and Sophias every day. You can guess which ones drive her up the wall…

When I want to change my hair (frequently), and I show my friend my inspiration photo (cue eye roll), I’m subliminally asking her not only if she could create the hairstyle on me, but if she could also make me look like the fabulous creature in the photo too… She pointed this out to me one day, and she’s right. Apparently it’s a common thing. Sophias are the ones who ask hairdressers for hairstyles because what they actually like the look of is the model herself rather than the actual haircut. We aren’t very good at mentally taking the hair OFF the model and putting it onto our own head.

On the flip side Siobhan is a hairdresser’s dream. She comes in regularly for a trim and root touch up, (although an ultimate Siobhan has never dyed her hair and has the perfect natural sun-kissed highlights, and consequently her mane is in top condition.) Her hair is close to her natural colour and the cut and colour suits her perfectly. Classically chic. No micro fringes here.

Sophia on the other hand, just like me, has sported every single hairdo and colour under the sun over the years. Consequently, her hair is a bit wrecked. Hands up who's been told by your hairdresser, “If I colour your hair right now it will fall out” ? Welcome to the club: You’re a Sophia. Every visit to the hairdresser is an exciting adventure into the unknown.

You don’t have to dig too hard to realise Sophia’s relationship to fashion and self image isn’t exactly ideal. There’s far too much emphasis on our outward appearance and too much comparison to other women. Additionally, there’s the incessant internal narrative of, “If I change my hair, I’ll be happier; if I can just drop a few pounds I’ll look better; if I buy that designer bag I’ll feel totally fulfilled.” Even though I know it’s absolutely ridiculous, and totally untrue, I’m ashamed to say, at the ripe old age of 43, that voice still persists, albeit quieter than it was than when I was younger, thank God.

Whether you’re a Siobhan, or a Sophia, I think most women would admit they’ve all fallen into that trap at one point in their lives, and it’s no wonder. It’s a very powerful narrative that’s been fed to us since we were young girls by multi-million pound companies (usually run by men), unashamedly playing on women’s and girls’ insecurities. I grew up in the 90s, when super skinny was in and there was really only one look that was approved of by the fashion set. The pressure was immense. Vogue and Elle were my top reads, and I knew the exact day the new issue appeared at newsstands each month.

Of course, there wasn’t social media back then. I’ve thought about growing up with and without social media a lot since I’ve had children. And for all its faults, dangers and distractions, it adds to young people’s lives. One thing I do love about it, is that it shows many different perspectives. It’s more democratic. No longer do the top two publishing companies dictate what fashion is. Now with social media far surpassing print magazines in readership, there are more voices which, hopefully means we are starting to achieve broader and more inclusive beauty standards. Obviously, there’s still a LONG way to go though.

I’d love to say that as I’ve got older I’m turning more Siobhan. But I’m not sure I can... I absolutely do not chase unattainable beauty standards anymore, but that bright yellow feather trimmed kaftan that’s currently in my Vinted watch list? It’s just too fabulous for this Sophia to leave behind.

Siobhan