it gets better

it gets better

Since last month, I’ve mostly been living out of a tiny suitcase and sleeping on friends’ couches — loading and unloading my car with instruments and stage design ideas, playing shows around my area, and meeting all kinds of people from the local scene. It feels like such a special time. Waking up. Defrosting.

I’ve realised how much my personality had faded over the past few years — sheltered inside myself, unconfident, kept in safety.
I’ve played some of my favourite shows recently. Opening for Orange Blossom in Aix-en-Provence was one of the best moments ever. I missed this energy so much — the stage fright, the connection with people. There’s this special moment that makes me cry most times.

I’m looking into your eyes, talking about my ghosts, and it’s gorgeous. I can’t take shelter anymore. I become the most honest version of myself — the most beautiful version. I see your eyes, and I see we’re both true.

Last week, I played three shows. That’s more than I’ve played in the last three years. The funny thing is, I got so used to my routine that now I’m trying to find the ground under my feet, adjusting to this new pace. I’m late on so many things, but I’m putting everything I have into making the shows better and better. I feel so lucky, and I have a lot of help from friends and people I’ve met recently. With Cécile and Rémy, we built a stage structure. It works well when the space is tiny and intimate — it looks like a haunted forest behind me. Do you like it?

We made it from market stall frames (for the structure), old linen and tulle curtains, and black tape (for the tree shapes). I love how it turns the stage into a ghostly, mystical place.

Now I’m back home for three weeks before heading to Marseille to play at l’Espace Julien on April 23rd.

Hopefully, I’ll get some writing done and continue working on the projects I’d put on the side. I’m so glad I’ve been able to play some new songs live too — it helps me figure out which ones still need work (because something in them doesn’t sit right yet) and which ones I love playing and feel complete.

I’m also loving gardening and hiking before the weather gets too warm. Everything is blooming here. I really can’t wait to organise movie nights in the garden this summer. Now I even have the perfect backdrop for a white screen with the structure we built :)

***

It gets better because you didn’t stop believing in yourself.

It gets better the moment you decide to free yourself from the pressure you’ve put on your shoulders — the pressure of not being enough, of not doing things the “right” way, or fast enough.

It gets better when you unapologetically embrace everything you are, and stop hiding behind who you think you should be.

It gets better when you decide that taking care of yourself — mentally and physically — is a priority.

It gets better because now, you trust yourself more than anyone else to do the work.

It gets better because all the times you failed before built the ground beneath you — for all the times you’ll fail again (but also succeed).

It gets better. I swear.

This month, I fell in ♥ with:

• @sophieisabella.studio - I’m just loving delicate statement pieces at the minute.

• gardening - I took this habit of planting all the seeds from the vegetables I eat and now i’m growing garlic, red pepper, leak and spring onions. It feels like giving back to the ground. I’m loving this new ritual.

• this album:

I am reading:

The legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

✨My (our?) tarot mantra of the month✨:
Yes, you’re being seen and stepping into a bigger space, but also—don’t wait for permission. If the doors don’t open, build your own.

Thank you so much for being by my side. I’m working on so much new music, testing it out, shaping it into my new favourite things. I’m also not rushing it.

I’m sending you so much love.
You know you can always write back to me ❀

Talk soon

xx

G.