There's the England we know and love

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That’s more like it! We were in danger of getting carried away there for a moment. Thank goodness, I say. England’s infrastructure is melting as we speak, a Prime Minister has been ousted for the sixth time this month, and the men’s football team are slogging their way to a tepid draw. It feels like home again.

As is so often true with England, most of the best stories from their 0-0 draw with Ghana had little to do with football at all. This was the first competitive game between England and the nation that emerged from their creatively named Colony of the Gold Coast in 1957. Ghana have always been groundbreakers in resistance; they were the first sub-Saharan African colony to gain independence. Their founding Premier, Kwame Nkrumah, was a hugely influential figure in the mid-century rise of Pan-Africanism and African Socialism. He was deposed the year England raised the World Cup, likely with American involvement. There’s symmetry everywhere if you care to look. Which I do, because it’s vastly more interesting than dissecting Anthony Gordon’s feeble attempts to enter the box.

The internet machine, of course, has lost its mind: this gruelling 90’ is proof England are terrible, that they have, in the six days since they dismantled Croatia, regressed into a kind of formless footballing slop. Our hopes have melted in the summer heat.

Perhaps that will prove prophetic, but I think the closest thing to the truth was exposed in Anthony Barry’s half-time interview. They’re deeper than we expected, he said: 10-12 metres deeper than usual. England had prepared for a game resembling the last, had expected Ghana to use the talents of Antoine Semenyo to swashbuckle, to if not go blow-for-blow then at least attack with enough manpower to leave space the other way. Why else would you start Djed Spence, keep your central carriers on the bench?

This England XI is, to my eyes, built for kinetic knockout football, designed to be electric in transition. By the time their safecracking specialists — Nico O’Reilly, Eberechi Eze, Bukayo Saka, Morgan Rogers — were on the pitch, it was too late. We’d already sat through it.

I’ve just spent a year watching and covering Arsenal, and to state the obvious: low blocks are a bitch. Eze and Saka have struggled with them all year. When I spoke with Adam Wharton in January, he declared that sitting in a low block is “easy.” I wouldn’t accuse Ghana, who came with a plan and executed it perfectly, of taking it easy, but I would point out that this tactic is the game’s great leveler, and failure to defeat it is not necessarily indicative of a team’s attacking quality. If England’s failure to breach a decent and robustly organized Ghana side is catastrophic, Spain must already be written off.

Tuchel said he wanted Premier League, and here he saw one of its many faces. I’m not sure how much is worth learning. England are unlikely to face games like this in deeper stages, and if they do they’ll probably be settled with a corner or penalty. I suppose if there’s anything to be worried about, it’s both wingers’ failures to enter the box or beat the opposing fullback. Noni Madueke had 83 touches in the final third and managed a single successful take-on. Anthony Gordon had 2 in 71.

Both their pass sonars are hilarious: big shameful arrows that point back at central midfield, signaling their failures.

Central progression was again poor, but the thing with passing forwards is you need someone to pass to. Harry Kane was swamped by Caleb Yirenkyi and Thomas Partey, who effectively dropped so deep as to form a back six. Yirenkyi, one of the most exciting and dynamic young midfielders at this tournament, managed 11 passes all night. He spent most of the game doubling up on Gordon or filling the little left-sided pocket Kane attempted to drift into. It was a brick wall England horseshoed around, waiting for the set-piece hammer that never came.

Is any of this surprising? Was anyone shocked Declan Rice pulled Partey into a brotherly bear hug? Good on Djed Spence, I suppose.

This game hung on the little moments, as such games do. Ezri Konsa performed a majestic and definitely illegal flying tackle that should have earned a Ghanaian penalty. O’Reilly did that thing where he acted as the team’s No. 9 from left back and came inches away from scoring. It’s incredible how many goals Harry Kane has scored for England considering I can only really remember him missing sitters.

Speaking of little moments, Nkrumah was on a state visit in North Vietnam when the coup d’état overthrew his government; he didn’t learn he’d been ousted until he later arrived in China. Cool!

Will this slogfest alter Tuchel’s plans? Unlikely. Saka will clearly start once his poor ankle allows him to. Marcus Rashford is the only other “maybe” of interest — Gordon has been poor twice, but against Croatia he was marooned by the midfield’s right-side bias and here was double and triple-teamed into oblivion. I’d be surprised if England, this time expecting it, start the same kind of XI against Panama. Rogers and Eze would make sense, as would the internet’s predictable reaction (proof Bellingham is washed, too emotional, out of form, etc).

Tuchel’s reign was meant to be a fresh start and it has been, but we’ve hardly changed at all. It all feels so familiar. History tells us this will be forgotten by next week, so let’s perhaps save our energy for indignation when it matters. It’s far, far too hot to be bothered.