The Battle I Never Asked For

Someone told me that I have a problem with feeling controlled.

While there’s definitely truth to that statement, it doesn’t dismiss the fact that most security men in clubs in Paris need an attitude adjustment.

The more I go out, the more I see the power/superiority complex that they’re fighting within themselves when the people they’re “protecting” just want to have a fun time.

When I tell you the story, you might think I’m overreacting, but I’m sick of what’s happening here in Paris, especially when it feels like I’m being targeted as a Black woman.

It was a clear example of why I think twice of where I’m going for a night out in Paris because I’m rarely in the mood to be bothered. And it’s why I started my YouTube series reviewing different party spots/organizers because I’m sure I can’t be the only one who values their peace, time, energy, and money.

I was at one of my favorite bars, wandering, and ended up next to the bathroom. I figured I might as well go since there was no line.

Little did I know that the security man standing in between the women and men’s rooms was orchestrating chaos to keep himself busy.

There were two men lined up to my left for the men’s room on the left. And the last woman on the right walked in to the women’s room. So naturally, I thought it was my turn to wait by the door.

That’s when the security man, let’s call him Ugly, told me to go wait behind the men in line.

At first I thought it was a bit progressive for this bar but I didn’t want any issues so I went behind the men. Then another woman approaches and goes and stands where I was. Then more women get in line behind her and now there are two lines forming…

You’re probably wondering,

Did I look like a man?

That’s a fair and unoffensive question considering my short hair and tendency to wear men’s clothes, but this night, it was very clear I was a woman.

Ugly was watching everything happen directly in front of him and I wondered,

WTF is his problem?

And then I had some sympathy and noticed he was standing between two rooms of music with VERY different styles. Every time people went back and forth to the bathrooms or to switch rooms, his music experience got extremely distorted. I’m sure he hated it. I’m sure he felt like he wasn’t getting paid enough.

But then I remembered that this man was creating his own problems in his life. He took this job. He’s chose to watch people go to the bathroom so they don’t take drugs when in reality, it didn’t stop anything.

My friend and the Frenchman walked by and saw me in line, and I told them how Ugly was irritating me. Then they told me there’s another toilet on the other side of the door/Ugly. I went to check and there was another line, and I decided that I didn’t have to pee anymore.

When I needed to use the toilet, I didn’t even bother dealing with Ugly. Especially since his chaotic lines kept getting worse from the first encounter. As I was waiting to pass the bathroom alley of lines to reach the other room for the other toilet, I felt Ugly staring at me. Hard.

I ignored it and when I could walk by without getting bumped by someone, Ugly had the nerve to call out to me “Madame!” as I walked by to the other toilet, with no security man.

This man had nothing else better to do than bother a stranger. The worst part is I fear that I get treated differently than most people because I’m a Black woman.

The security men at these types of places are of some African descent and because I’m often one of the few Black women in attendance, I get singled out.

I wish this was me projecting this experience on to myself but it keeps happening. I’ve seen it with another Black female friend of mine who complains about the same issues.

Comments.

Staring.

Making us feel uncomfortable.

When I go out, the most important thing is that I feel safe. Not singled out and targeted. The icing on the cake is that these security men are never actually doing anything except “patrolling” drug use.

Watching bathrooms.

Walking through crowded dance floors shining flashlights on people minding their own business.

And it’s disgusting.

I keep telling French people, this would never happen in America1. And while the country is getting scarier and less predictable by the day, at least I could pee in peace at the bar.

The party I went to the night after reminded me that all hope is not lost!

I had to travel an hour to a city in the outskirts of Paris, but it was worth it.

The security was relaxed, enjoying their time, and not bothered about controlling people. You could tell their purpose was to help if a situation arose, not create tension. As it should be.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

If you want to see what clubs and bars I’ve been reviewing in Paris, check out my Clubvestigation series on YouTube.

And my other musings about (night) life in Paris:

Til next time,

Bree <3