Today was a BIG day for me, but a bigger day for my oldest son Ben.
The start of a new term.
Year 6. The last year before secondary school.
Last year was rough, for him, for our family and for his class.
I think their teacher was struggling as much as most of the kids. Probably with the increased pressure and demands that ’the system’ puts on them.
So Ben decided he didn’t want to go to school anymore. Annoyingly, he can be very strong minded (not sure where he gets that from). So we supported and battled every day. He even escaped from school one day and we found him walking up our road on his way home.
Really rough.
I’ve got loads to say about our broken education system. But that’s not the purpose of this post. So I’ll save that for another one (if you’re interested, tell me and that might encourage me to get some of it out of my head).
No. The purpose of this post is to remind all of us about the importance of being you.
Ben is Ben. He’s wonderful. His level of empathy is off the charts. He shaved his hair for charity at the age of 6 to raise money for homeless people because he’d seen and chatted to a homeless person for the first time, and didn’t get it.
What makes Ben so great is that he doesn’t hide behind some charade. If something doesn’t make sense to him, he challenges it.
Why do I have to ask to go to the toilet?
Why are people walking past this person who’s begging for money and pretending he’s not there?
Why do I have to wear socks?
They’re good questions. Which can also be really annoying when we’re busy and distracted by all the conventional stuff.
When we’re born we’re all like Ben. There’s one version of us. Then we learn to shape shift into other versions that fit different settings.
The work version, the parent one, the down the pub with the lads one.
I think we basically spend our adult years trying desperately to find and reclaim that single, true version of ourselves. I also think a lot of people never find it.
Let’s call this your authentic self.
It’s hard to find it because it’s confronting.
You have to dig through lots of layers, and shed some stuff.
It’s not going to be for everyone, and that’s hard.
If this resonates, but you don’t know where to start, I’ve got an idea for you.
Stop writing stuff that you wouldn’t say.
“Let’s circle back”
“I trust you are well”
“Warm regards”
It’s bullshit.
Be you, everyone else is taken.
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