Hello and welcome to July's edition of the newsletter! (Once again, life got in the way a bit, so I'm sending this with a two-day delay.)
In this month's edition:
a book that helps you turn life's problems into opportunities;
a tool that helps you think clearer and shut down the noise;
a personal lesson on struggle.
I've been following Ryan's work for almost a decade now. In fact, I used to read an article he wrote in 2016 every day before going to work. I still read it from time to time.
This is a good book. At times, I wished the chapters were longer and with more explanations, but that's not Ryan's style.
The question this book tries to answer is how can we turn problems into opportunities for growth? It's not how can we deal with the problems, or how can we learn to accept them, but actually, how to use them to our advantage. Powerful once mastered. Hard to master. The answer is a three-part process, all counterintuitive:
Sharpen your perspective (maintain objectivity);
Take action;
Be resilient.
I'd like to emphasise the counterintuitive part. Soap bubbles are spherical for a reason: it's the most economical shape in nature. In nerd terms: it's the shape with the least amount of resistance in every direction. The universe likes to conserve energy. We're biological creatures, so we follow the same rules. We want the path of least resistance. Easy will always seem more appealing. But easy takes you nowhere. When something bad happens to us, our natural intuition will be to ask "why would this happen to me?" and complain. It's the opposite of what we should do: it's not objective - everyone has problems. It's not taking action. And it's not resilient, it's focusing on the bad and not the opportunity. In sum: mastering this mindset takes counterintuitive practice.
I'd like to have gotten a better answer from the book but it comes down to practice. Our history comes with loaded baggage and perceptions. We know how to separate good from bad. So we do it for everything. Being fired is bad right? What if it leads you to a better, more fulfilling, and life-changing job? Objectivity means separating the event from the judgement.
Forget perfectionism: start small, iterate quickly.
Focus on the things you control, and those alone. It's easy to pick something to do out of the pool of things you can do, than out of the pool of everything that could be done.
Embrace calculated risks: if you're waiting for the perfect conditions... I'm sure you know the saying. Sometimes you have to take the leap with the amount of information you have.
Focus on the process. A good starting point is the book "Atomic habits", which I've covered.
Embrace the growth: every setback is an opportunity to learn and to improve.
Learn from failure. This is another one that is highly counterintuitive. When something bad has happened to you, the last thing you want to do is to think more about it. But it's one of the most important. A few suggestions of questions to ask yourself:
Why did you end up in this situation?
What could you have done different to avoid it?
Was it the result of a habit or pure chance?
How much control did you have on the situation?
Overall, I highly recommend the book. It's short and straight to the point, with useful stories.
I know it seems like I'm out of ideas and this isn't really a tool but this month I noticed something interesting. Writing something very clearly (to ask AI) often led me to figure things out myself. Writing is a way to clarify thoughts that can be all jumbled in your head. It's a simple "tool", but simple is usually a good start.
Give it a go: when you have many thoughts racing through your head and it's hard to make decisions, try to write it down as if you were explaining it to a child. Keep the language simple and the thoughts straightforward. You will find the gaps in your thoughts and the ordered ideas will feel good.
A few years ago I had a job that made me feel miserable. The job itself wasn't bad, I just didn't enjoy it and I was not very good at it either. Also, the commute were 5 hours total, leaving me no time for any fun activities during the week. To add to that, the pay was low. A few months after starting, I was on a path to depression.
When I quit, I was severely unmotivated. Not just professionally, but about life in general. I thought: "so this is what I spent years of my life studying to achieve? A job I don't like with a miserable pay? Is this my life for the next 40 years?"
Instead of complaining and accepting it, I posted my life's dissatisfaction on reddit. I asked how can someone be happy when this clear trap existed. You have to work for 40+ years to be able to survive. That led me to discover the concept of financial independence. It led me to learn about personal finance, investing, and also research on career satisfaction. The following months were full of learning.
It started me on this ambitious path to achieve more, to discover what my true skills are, and to experiment with different jobs. In a way, it's the event that led me to where I am today. I guess the lesson is: even when something knocks you down, there are opportunities for learning and gain a new perspective. Fight the natural tendency to see things as negative. Those perceptions seem to protect you but they're not useful or right (most of the time). Shortly after quitting, I saw darkness everywhere. But looking back, I'm glad it happened. I would be in a very different place if it were not for that shitty job.
That's it from me, this month. As usual, all feedback is welcome. Your messages shape this newsletter.
See you at the end of August,
Fábio
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