Self Check Machine Out Hallucinates An 8.5b Charge To A Man’s Hot Dog Order. But it did include unlimited toppings.
Man Opens Package And Live Iguana Escapes Inside Store FedEx is now delivering jump scares.
Capybaras Disrupting Government in Brazil Capybaras wandered into an active voting session at the Mato Grosso state legislature. Finally, politicians everyone can support.
Sterling Point (Amazon)
Created by Megan Park, who made the wonderful My Old Ass, and executive produced by the people who made The O.C. and Gossip Girl. There’s good music, interesting characters, complicated family dynamics, summer romance, and a mystery with a dead mom and a Canadian Island inherited by twins.
The Shards (FX/Hulu)
Bret Easton Ellis has made a career out of mining his years at Buckley, the fancy LA private school where Matthew Perry, Laura Dern, Rashida Jones, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and fellow chronicler of the Valley, Paul Thomas Anderson all attended.
This time, a fictionalized Bret and his rich, unsupervised friends are going into senior year in 1981, there’s a serial killer on the loose, a mysterious hot new student arrives and they all start sleeping with, lying to, and suspecting one another.
It’s Less Than Zero, plus a serial killer ala American Psycho, plus a cult. Produced by fellow king of excess, Ryan Murphy.
As with all Ryan Murphy shows, everyone is very good-looking, there are nepo babies, in this case Cindy Crawford’s daughter and Richard Gere’s son, and the costumes, art direction, hair and makeup are all evocative and incredible. I can’t tell if Debbie is wearing current-season Saint Laurent or actual vintage lingerie, but I want all of it.
Monsters of God (HBOMax)
I’m kind of obsessed with Eric Goode. In addition to directing this, and Tiger King, and Chimp Crazy he is also a co-owner of The Bowery hotel, the Waverly Inn, and the El Roblar in Ojai. He’s admitted on camera to engaging with animal smugglers but founded the Turtle Conservancy, And before all that he was an artist and co-owner of the legendary club Area. What a life.
This time he enters the secretive world of reptile smuggling where every person seems to have had at least 3 lives and a decades long vendetta. Josh Safdie is a Producer and Slash contributed original music and I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me they were both exotic animal guys too.
The Challenge: Cutthroat
I have been watching this show since The Real World existed, and I still love it. The cast is essentially a living history of reality television. If you have never watched, contestants from across the reality television universe compete in elaborate physical challenges while forming alliances, hooking up, screaming at one another and carrying grudges from seasons that aired during the Obama administration. It has the strategy of Survivor, the physical competition of American Gladiators and the emotional maturity of a high school cafeteria. I love it there.
The Bombing of Pan Am 103 (Netflix)
Peacock had a version of this last year and now it’s Netflix’s turn. This version focuses on the investigation and the friction between the FBI and Scottish authorities as they painstakingly put the plane back together looking for clues. But you also learn about the people of Lockerbie and how this tragedy affected the town.
STILL WATCHING
Married At First Sight
I need the menswear enthusiasts who read this to weigh in here. What is this look? Is this a trend or is Adam a singular specimen? A few things to note: he is not on vacation, he is in Seattle. He loves ripping it on his jet ski, he plays pickleball 5 days a week, 3 hours a day, loves “pushing himself to the limit” and won’t drink anymore because of inflammation. Is this a Pacific Northwest thing or is it nationwide?
FINALES
House of The Dragon One final hour of dragons, incest, disputed succession and people with nearly identical platinum wigs in dark rooms. There’s one fourth and final season coming, so do not expect peace, closure or adequate interior lighting.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta From Rum Bum, to new teeth, to Slutty Vegan franchises, I have a lot of concerns about the financial decisions made by this group of ladies. I would like Sir Andrew Cohen to bring out a forensic accountant at the reunion.
The Valley This show is so dark. The lightest moment was Zack getting hit in the head by a traffic sign while riding on a double deckers bus in Mexico, then leaving the hospital and going directly to the club bandaged like he had just had a facelift.
Once Upon a Time in Bennington
On the occasion of The Shards, let me recommend this juicy podcast on the lore of literary brat pack Bret Easton Ellis, Donna Tartt (The Secret History) and Jonathan Lethem (Motherless Brooklyn) who all went to Bennington College at the same time.
It’s got sex, drugs, jealousy, gossip, and the real people who inspired Rules of Attraction, and The Secret History, and god knows how many other literary characters. Donna Tartt reportedly threatened legal action over it!
STREAMING
The Last House (Netflix)
I have not seen this yet but Netflix put a man inside a glass billboard for 3 days to promote this and I have now driven by him several times and I feel his efforts need to be rewarded. The movie is about a family that suddenly finds itself trapped inside a house which sounds scary but perhaps less scary than spending 3 days in August trapped in a glass box above Sunset Blvd.
72 Hours (Netflix)
If you don’t want a scary movie this is a movie about a Bachelor Party that gets tangled up in a criminal operation. Marcelo Hernandez is so naturally charming he practically steals this movie right out from under Kevin Hart.
IN THEATERS
Tony The pivotal summer Anthony Bourdain spent in Provincetown where he fell in love with food, restaurants, and the chaotic characters that inhabit them.
One Night Only Imagine if Gilead, from The Handmaid’s Tale, was a RomCom. Or The Purge: Sex Edition. Once you get past the premise of the government only allowing one night where single people can have sex, and make the choice to ask no further questions about it, this is cute, and funny, and stars 2 incredibly beautiful people you can’t take your eyes off of: Monica Barbaro and Mr. Dua Lipa, Callum Turner. And sometimes that is enough.
A24 has made a very chic book of 179 NY Movie locations organized by things to see, places to eat, shop, and photo opps. This is a good gift for NYC residents, and movie lovers. Put it on your Christmas shopping list.
Girl on Girl by Sophie Gilbert
Just in time for the return of low rise jeans, a social history of the 90s, early internet culture, tabloids, Girl Gone Wild, and all the things that told you objectification was empowering as long as you were in on the joke.
This ai video of a movie set is now one of the most watched instagram shorts of all time. Reality is folding in on itself.
Shakira recreated her famous computer meme
NEW SLANG
You don’t say “google it” anymore. It makes you sound old. You say “search it up”
ARTICLES
The Increasing Popularity of Grandma Hobbies Garden, craft, wood work, quilt, make stew. Just do it. Maybe Nike will make some quilting shoes.
The Influencer Recession This title is kind of misleading. It’s more about Audrey Peters as an example of why content needs to be more polarizing now.
Dopamine sites There are now sites where you can “shop” without having your card charged.
Here’s What’s Cool on College Campuses Right Now I question the word “cool” as a descriptor of what’s cool but here’s Town & Country’s 3rd annual round up. I don’t know when this happened but T&C, the magazine of socialites and people who summer, seems to be the place to find out what’s happening at schools and camps? I guess it’s filling the vacuum left by Teen Vogue?
It’s been a summer full of poop. What is going on?
Concertgoer poops in the mosh pit. This is the 2nd pooping at a concert story of the summer.
Too Many Hikers are Pooping in Colorado Backcountry
How Human Poop Got On So Much Lettuce?
There’s a new genre of music on Tik Tok called UK Poo
TO DO
Guess the movie via single frames
Let’s talk about good merch:
The number one thing worth buying this week is the New Bedford Whaling Museum “Worst Aquarium Ever” 1 star review shirt that went viral. They also have a shirt that says “Ishmael” Classic Moby Dick humor.
Or the NYC Ferry’s “The People’s Yacht” shirt
Both excellent summer tees.
As I predicted, the white canvas sneaker is officially back. You can go Prada, Celine, or classic Keds.
A new clothing line makes you invisible to ai. The print looks like something Adam from MAFS would wear but you can avoid all ai surveillance.
She’s a full Monet. The family of the art dealer most responsible for making Impressionism happen is selling a Monet if you have $12-17 million dollars laying around. Paul Durand-Ruel recognized the talent of Renoir, Pissarro, Monet and Picasso and helped make them artistic and commercial successes. This landscape has been in the family all these years so if you’re a new SpaceX millionaire I think this is a steal. A Monet sold in 2019 for $111 Million.
In news to no one, jorts have “taken over New York”
Facebook marketplace is now its own standalone app called Seller thereby eradicating the last reason to ever get on facebook.
S’Mork A sweet-and-savory food mashup combining the classic campfire s’more with slow-smoked pulled pork, and served on a fried sugar biscuit recently debuted at the Indiana State Fair. Don’t tell me American’s aren’t innovators.
Spicy Foods Could Help You Live Longer
Coffee may make your liver healthier
The fastest way to husk corn is to cut the butt off, hold the top of the husk and the corn will slide out clean, like so
Thank you for being here. If this made you laugh, or gave you something to watch this weekend please tap the heart below or forward it to someone. I need more subscribers pretty please. It’s my only dopamine hit.
Next week, the long awaited Obsessions issue, and later this month our first Expert Guest Letter.
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