Awaken

I have felt my ancestors pressing at my back lately. Literally. But I won't get into the details.

Their message, you must follow the rules to survive. We are in dangerous times. Remember what we taught you. Remember how we adapted to survive colonial, imperial, fascist powers.

Remember politeness. Remember meekness. Remember to be good, submissive, deferential. Remember to be helpful! Remember to not have any needs of your own! Remember to suffer with a smile!! Remember to keep your eyes cast down, your hair perfectly coiffed, your clothes well pressed! Remember to keep your porch clean and tidy!! Your gardens without a weed! Your car and shoes well polished! Remember Remember Remember!!!!

They scream and wail. ERYN they beg. ERYN they plead. ERYN REMEMBER. ERYN WE LOVE YOU!

I do remember aunties. I do remember grannies. I do remember.

We survived but so many others didn't.

We can't just keep surviving like this. We can't just keep shrinking into caves of self loathing, riddled with unnamable and unfaceable guilt, because we are surviving at the expense of everything else. Everyone else.

We can't go on like this.

We can't go on tidying our mansions on piles of bones.

I won't go on this way.

I love you. Thank you for your love. I won't go on this way.

It is time for our people to be fearlessly, completely, utterly, devoted to who we have always said we are.

Generous. Loving. Open hearted. Hospitable. Rebellious. Good.

And shrinking into polite invisibility, the shrunken veneer of goodness, is not goodness at all.

Yes this is dangerous. But stay at my back. Guide me toward life. Guide me toward a world where we can all be truly good. Join me now, in a new way. Let us grow a new shoot off this ancient tree. One that protecs all of life as fiercely as we have protected our own.