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The Rosen Report · Aug 26, 2026

The Night I Almost Got Arrested in Greenwich Village

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Eric Rosen · The Rosen Report

Opening Comments

My last note was about dropping off my kids at Wake Forest and becoming an empty nester. I heard from a lot of readers about their experiences at drop off, and most agreed that we overdo it and need to let the kids do more on their own. The most opened links were the Bryan Cox video about travelling at the speed of light and the article about Natalie Harp’s letters to Trump.

World class entertainer Dolly Parton died at 80 years of age. Dolly was a force of nature and an amazing songwriter, performer, actress, and personality. She wrote over 3,000 songs during her career. I had the pleasure of seeing her perform about 10 years ago and she was truly remarkable. My favorite song of hers is “Jolene.” My favorite line she ever said, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.”

I was in the Hamptons for a couple days and then in the city for a few meetings. I ate at Babbo and Borgo and will review both. I am now in Pennsylvania for a little golf at Saucon Valley. I am heading to the city for a quick stop and then to Kittansett in Marion, MA on Saturday and Sunday. On Monday, I will be in NYC and then CT next Tuesday night and Wednesday. Heading to the US Open on September 2nd with 3i Members for the evening matches.

Early send due to some meetings. Note that Nvidia earnings are after the close. Interesting stat: Approximately 50% of Nvidia’s employees are worth $25mm or more. I love seeing employees see the benefits of the success of the company.

  • I came across a remarkable video told by a young woman who refused to quit. She was in the Army and working at Target when another woman approached her. The older woman thought the Target employee was beautiful and could be the next Miss USA and convinced her to try to win the state pageant. The young woman entered and lost six straight times over six years. The young woman is a great storyteller, and it is a funny video. She became Miss District of Columbia on her 7th attempt and then became the first soldier to win Miss USA. It is not how you start, it is how you finish. She said, “Do not fear failure but please be terrified of regret.” Michael Jordan was cut by his high school basketball team. Had he quit, we would have never known his greatness.

It was the fall of 2003 on a crisp evening in Greenwich Village. I lived at 20 Fifth Avenue, on the corner with 9th Street. I’ve written before about my crazy penthouse rental, which cost $7,000 a month despite being a three-bedroom-plus-staff-room apartment with three bathrooms, a chef’s kitchen, and a full laundry room. I was living solo, and the story was outlined here.

On this fateful day, I had a date at the restaurant on my block. That doomed location has housed a ton of different restaurants over the years, none of them particularly memorable. The point is, the restaurant was no more than 100 yards from the front door of my apartment.

I met my date at the restaurant, and she brought a couple of friends. The townhouse setting was quaint, but the food was hardly remarkable. We were drinking wine that Saturday night, and every time I went to use the bathroom, there was a line of at least five people. There were only two bathrooms, and one was out of service. I kept going back to the table and continued to imbibe. Despite at least a half dozen efforts to relieve myself, the line was always too long.

It got to be about 10:30 p.m., and I was going to explode. I did not know what to do. I was incredibly uncomfortable and actually sweating. I announced to the table that I was sprinting home to relieve myself. They all laughed at me. I ran out of the restaurant. And then I realized I wasn’t going to make it. I was going to pee my pants.

As the map shows, the distance from the restaurant to the apartment can be measured in yards. I stopped halfway home and started to urinate on the sidewalk. It was a disgusting display, but there was literally nothing I could do unless I peed in my pants. I was so focused on the task at hand that I failed to notice one rather important detail: I was peeing directly in front of an NYPD patrol car with two police officers sitting inside.

The lights started flashing. A window rolled down. One of the officers started yelling at me. There was just one problem. I couldn’t stop. ‘I can explain,’ I said. ‘Just give me a minute.’”

The average time for a man to urinate is supposedly 21 seconds. I’m telling you, mine was a solid two minutes. It might have been the longest two minutes of my life. The relief and euphoria were mind-blowing.

I finished the task at hand and walked the ten feet over to the police car. I walked them through what had transpired. I was calm and poised and felt I gave a clear and compelling explanation for my behavior, but I was nervous. I showed them my ID that proved I lived in the penthouse of the apartment 100 feet from where I stood. I was wearing a pair of jeans, desert boots, a dress shirt, and a navy-blue Ralph Lauren sweater.

I told them my date was in the restaurant across the street, but the bathroom situation did not allow me to use it. They were hysterical. I was crapping in my pants. I was running a trading desk at Chase at the time. Getting arrested for public urination would not exactly have been a career-enhancing move.

They escorted me back to the restaurant to check out my story. The line was now ten people deep, with an ‘OUT OF SERVICE’ sign on the other door. I pointed to my table and my date looked at me with a confused and concerned gaze. The NYPD officers let me go with a warning and laughed as they walked out of the restaurant. All the patrons were staring at me, but between finally relieving myself and not getting arrested, I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief that I didn't care.

For years, I was terrified that anyone would ever find out. But more than two decades have passed, so I can finally share this embarrassing night with my closest friends…as well as countless strangers in 50 states and 107 countries.

I don't remember the name of the restaurant, which has long since closed. Needless to say, I never returned to the eatery, but every time I walked past it on my way to Citarella, I would laugh. Just think what might have happened if those NYPD officers hadn't been so kind. My life could have taken a very different turn. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

I just don’t look good in an orange jumpsuit. I am going to stay out of jail.

  • The Surf Club condos in Surfside are the hottest ticket in town. The condos are owned by billionaires and major people in finance and real estate. An LLC named after the address sold unit S-1003 at 9001 Collins Avenue for $30.3 million, or $7,143 per square foot, marking one of the highest recorded price-per-foot deals in South Florida. The seller paid $18.4 million for the unit in July 2025, property records show. That means the seller flipped it for a 65 percent increase, or $11.9 million more, in a year. It has four bedrooms, five bathrooms and one half-bath. As long as awful policies are being deployed in NY, CA, IL, WA, and other states, the wealth migration will continue. Florida welcomes the wealthy with open arms and is a pro-business state with zero income tax. During the pandemic, the restrictions were marginal to the Blue states that had lockdowns in perpetuity.

  • There were an estimated +51.3% more home sellers than buyers in July, the 2nd highest level on record. This percentage has doubled over the last 2 years. This comes as the number of active homebuyers fell -2.5% MoM, to 966,752, the lowest on record. At the same time, the number of sellers declined -0.3% MoM to ~1,462,921, the lowest reading in a year, but the decline was far smaller than the drop in buyers. As a result, ~80% of major US metros are now buyer's markets, led by Miami, where sellers outnumber buyers by +154%.

  • This Market Watch article outlines how St. Louis has been one of the most affordable cities for the past 134 years. The divergence in the growth of home prices in American cities over the last 134 years is stark. Between 1890 and 2024, sale-price indexes indicate that home prices were up over 1,000% in San Diego and Los Angeles, and nearly half as much in Boston. The U.S. nationally saw a 354% jump. But in a Midwestern city like St. Louis, prices over that time period have only gone up about 6% when adjusted for inflation. In Cleveland, the figure is about 18%. That’s according to new analysis and data collected by researchers at the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia. The article suggests that St. Louis in one of the most affordable markets in the US.

© 2026 The Rosen Report LLC. All rights reserved. Does not constitute investment, financial, legal, or tax advice. Consult with your lawyers and professional financial advisers. Rosen Report™ #921 ©Copyright 2026 Written by Eric Rosen.

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