keeping the inner child alive (one of life's most important and neglected habits)

"It is never too late to have a happy childhood." — Tom Robbins

The other day I looked at a photo of my younger self.

When I was looking at it, I realised that I was just a small child who had grown up. A fact that all humans seem to forget as life goes on and becomes more complicated.

I realised that the less I connect to my younger self, the more unhappy I become. The less I connect to my younger spirit, the less alive I feel.

My eyes welled up the longer I looked at the photo because sometimes I’m mean to that little boy inside me, and sometimes I ignore what he wants to do. And I felt silly for worrying about career direction, who I am, what I am, and what I’m doing. Because if I were giving advice to that boy, I’d tell him that none of that stuff matters and that he should just do things he likes and things that make him happy.

And since then, I’ve been thinking about what I can do for little Eren to keep his spirit alive within me.

I reject the idea that you must become cranky and jaded as you age.

My aim is to get more childlike. And this is what I’m doing to get there.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s awful to be ashamed.” — East of Eden, John Steinbeck

Life is trial and error.

Living in the past and being ashamed of yourself is self-punishment. And I don’t want to punish myself for mistakes. I don’t think harsh emotional punishment is a very good way of getting someone to change anyway.

I do my best to forgive the younger version of myself for making mistakes, and learn from them so that the current version of me can be better.

After all, if someone I loved made a mistake, I wouldn’t punish them; I’d encourage them.

“There's only one kind of success: spending your life in your own way.” — Christopher Morley

I try my best not to let others decide what music I listen to, how I decorate my home, or what clothes I put on.

I try to take photos the way I like, and of the people and things that interest me.

I take the inefficient bike route because I like the way the streets look, or the way I feel as I ride.

I reject the RM Williams, blue shirt, chino pants uniform, and the corporate speak and attitude in engineering because I simply don’t feel like myself when I dress and speak like that.

And simply put, I wouldn’t force my mini-me to do things because someone told him to. I’d let him carve out his own path, because choice is the greatest gift we have as humans and I want to protect his choices.

For anyone reading this, find yourself within the confines of whatever domain it is. That goes a long way.

"Every child is an artist" — Pablo Picasso

As children, we’re filled to the brim with creativity.

This is the first thing to get neglected as you shift from child to adolescent. And thus the first step to losing your inner child.

I’m not particularly good at making anything, but it’s the act of pouring your creativity into something that is inherently human and childlike.

I stumble around music production software, write these articles, make websites and other bits and pieces.

Starting can be hard, but once I’m building, I feel really alive and in the moment. I can be lazy sometimes, but I do my best to sit down and start — for him.

And sometimes, like this newsletter, something sticks, and it ends up becoming a big part of your life, and a great outlet for your inner child.

Maturity means rediscovering “the seriousness one had as a child, at play.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche

At the end of the day, we’re all just kids who grew up.

Yelling at someone in your car, freaking out about work or being mean to yourself is so far from being a happy child.

Yes, you have responsibility. Yes, the world makes you grow up. Yes, life is tough sometimes, and consciousness is confusing…

But holding onto that playfulness, curiosity and kindness is one of the best ways I’ve found to navigate life’s challenges. When people have young children, they seem to be at their happiest despite having the most difficult living conditions objectively, and I think the secret is having that childlike playfulness around that humbles them.

These days, I’m more aware of that pure, happy spirit I had as a child, and I’m trying to keep it alive through optimism, positivity, and reminding myself of the fact that life is still what it was when I was a little boy: a playground of opportunity, beauty, nature, friendship, love and art.

Beyond the low odds of being alive at all, we were all born into human consciousness that can think, act, and create.

And if you lose sight of that, you waste the greatest lottery ticket there is.

“Compassion isn't a relationship between healer and wounded — it's a relationship between equals.” — Pema Chödrön

The most important. I try not to say anything to myself that I wouldn’t say to mini-me.

I’ve ditched the mean comments and the negativity. I’ve reduced the self-conscious thoughts by encouraging myself.

And while the mean words slip through the cracks sometimes, I apologise like I’m talking to a kid.

On top of all that, I look at a picture of little Eren as often as possible. I find it helps me relax.

The simplest of all, and most effective.

What do you do to connect with your inner self?

Sincerely,

eren

A collection of all songs mentioned in this letter over the years.

My ‘must-watch’ list: Eren’s Quintessential Movie List

Also watched Reality Bites — which was weird and awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/@erenelsewhere