Are you missing the best days of your life?

“Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is unwise of you to ask about this.” — Ecclesiastes 7:10

When I was young, I just wanted to get to school like the big kids.

And when I was in school, I just wanted to finish and go to university.

And when I was in university, I just wanted to graduate and start working.

And now that I’m working, I look forward to retirement.

On top of the constant fast-forwarding, I also wish I could rewind to the old days.

I miss the constant laughter at school, and being around my friends everyday at university. And I know when I’m old and frail, I’ll miss the good old days that I’m in now.

But if the good old days are the current days, why am I not feeling like these are the best days of my life?

When I think about the present moment, I can’t say I appreciate it like I know I will one day.

All I can think of is how to solve the problem in front of me every day.

But when I think about the past and future phases in life, all I think of are the positives.

That glorifying of the past and the future, combined with being numb to the daily blessing, seems to be the combination that creates a level of discontentment with the present moment.

If you believe your best days are behind you, or yet to come, you’ll fail to recognise that every phase of life has its pros and cons, and that the only ‘best days of your life’ are the ones you are present in and appreciative of.

Young people focus on having no money or car - “I wish I was older…”

And older people focus on their lack of energy and mobility - “I wish I was young again…”

And those in the middle are just on survival mode.

But the young don’t realise they have unlimited time and energy until it’s gone. And the elderly don’t realise how much time, experience and wisdom they can apply to the freedom that they’ve earned.

I guess when you’re deep into a phase of life, the negatives are most relevant, and believing that the next phase of life (or reliving the past) will solve all your problems is our naïve way of coping with those negatives.

But if you focus on the limitations, you create the illusion that you’re always in the worst phase of life. But each time you move onto a new chapter, you realise how good you had it.

I know for me, doing my best to be conscious of the pros of my current phase of life, and accepting the cons of my current phase, is helping me to gain that retrospective appreciation, but in the present moment.

It’s like fastforwarding into the future to help yourself see that the dinner with your friends, the sports games, the coffee with your partner, sitting in your sister’s room, or simply riding your bike down the street are future memories being made in the present.

So again, there are no ‘best days of your life’.

There are different phases that look and feel different, and each phase has its own unique characteristics.

The best thing to do is to try and enjoy them all.

Sincerely,

eren

A collection of all songs mentioned in this letter over the years.

My ‘must-watch’ list: Eren’s Quintessential Movie List