Book Tour Missive #18, Las Vegas

My friend Sara, a former Las Vegas resident, texted me an important question the day before I flew to Vegas. Did I have time/interest in going to her friend’s amazing vintage store, open by appointment? Have I ever said yes faster? I don’t think so. I went straight from the airport to Patina to hang out with Kate, who I did not photograph for some reason, probably because I was afraid her beauty was too great, her style too impeccable, and my camera would never recover. I bought this crazy fringe vest, these clip-on earrings, this necklace, and a few other things in a Supermarket Sweep-style race against time and you know what? I’d do it again.

My event with Joe at the Tequila Bar wasn’t until the next day but the New Kids had a show so obviously my NKOTB weekend was going to be a double header. Their manager was nice enough to give me tickets both nights and holy jebus, I have never had tickets this close to anything before. My friend Sonal and I were in the 2nd row and for the first many minutes I was just sort of stunned speechless thinking about how close they were going to be and how I was afraid. It feels intrusive! I don’t want to know that you can see me back! I want to be having my experience from a safe distance where I cannot be observed! Alas, someone had to do it, and so it was us. Did I duck down and avert my eyes whenever the pelvic thrusts came too close? I did. #respect

You ever have a friend who was also your first crush and who gave you a weird dopamine button in your brain for Boston accents and whose voice and stage presence have only gotten better with age and experience? No, me neither. JK yes I do and here he is.

My people, the Blockheads.

Sonal did not approve this photo but I just think she is the cutest person on the planet and everyone needs to know. We went backstage and I told Joe all about the blue toilet I wanted that the vintage tile lady refused to sell us, you know, normal stuff.

The next morning, the hotel oatmeal was lackluster. You can do better, Park MGM! Give me more berries, give me something with a little crunch! 6/10.

Took a walk and went back to Paris. Just like actual Paris, Las Vegas is currently one million degrees.

Here’s how I know I’m getting better with age: I did not hesitate to ask the ladies in front of me to take my picture, immediately strike this pose, then text it to Joe and also all my friends. No cringe, no shame, just LOVING WHAT YOUR SOFT ANIMAL BODY LOVES or whatever, I’m sure this is exactly what Mary Oliver had in mind.

PS yes the dress is amazing, it’s from Loeffler Randall, it’s my entire summer personality.

Joe said to wear the blue suit and so I’m wearing the blue suit. New earrings from Patina, new merch from Blockhead HQ. Thank you to my best friends from elementary school who took a poll on which New Kids shirt I should wear.

Apologies to every other event I’ve ever done but let me please tell you what happened this afternoon. My fever dream! Joe and I had the most fun. I wrote down things to talk about but obviously never even looked at the list. He told our origin story from his POV and then I told it from mine. Here’s the thing about making friends—you never sit there and talk about it, your friendship, and what grew out of it. Maybe people who do collaborative projects do this—film stars and their directors, that sort of thing—but for me, it was a first. He could have been anything, the Joe McIntyre who I was put in touch with in hopes that he would answer some research questions for me—in the last forty years, he has been lots of things, I’m sure, as we all have—but let me just say for the record that this Joe, this evolved-ass man, is the absolute best, and more generous to me than he needs to be by about a thousand percent. A fellow traveler through life, simpatico, funny. I’m really glad to know this song and dance man, who always gives 150%, no matter what he’s doing. I hear there are other people on the stage but honestly I wouldn’t know. (Except for Jonathan Knight, may the universe be kind to that man forever, he too gives his all but his all wants to be using a crowbar on a beam somewhere and not dancing in sequins. Sacrifice, compromise, adulthood, here we are.) Blockheads filled the Tequila bar, and they were with us all the way, absolutely vibing.

I was texting with my fairy godmother Lin this morning about how I was nervous, and he said, and this is a direct quote, caps included: DON’T BE COOL. DON’T EVEN PRETEND TO PUT A LID ON IT. Well, the lid never entered the casino, nor the tequila bar, nor this book. Thank you Joe for being who you are, and thank you Blockheads for being who you are, and not to get too Almost Famous-y on everyone, but truly, there is no better feeling in the world than sharing what you love, the least sexy parts, the least cool parts, and not being sexy or cool about any of it, unless you are T-Boz. This weekend was an absolute gift from the universe, wrapped in some New Kids on the Block wrapping paper, which I am sure they made in 1990.

My friend Rebecca and I hit the second show of the weekend, confetti filled our laps, a good time was had by all. I will say that Donnie’s hard turn into Jesus has been notable, and Danny Wood struck me, today, like a shrinky dink Humphrey Bogart. I will never stop wanting to know what’s on this inside of this machine, I just can’t help it. Who wants a sequel???!!!

But for now, Blockhead out! Me and my cool pants are leaving Las Vegas. Sorry for blocking your mug, Joe, I didn’t mean to. This should be the last boyband-heavy post for a while, while my nervous systems tries to adjust out of American Fantasy mode, but just like the chicken pox, it never really goes away. Thanks to all of you for coming on this ride with me.

Ok one thing! Can you go to the evil empire and rate American Fantasy 5 stars real quick? Goodreads, Amazon, both! Please and thank you. I do not go to those places but apparently my average is, ahem, less than it should be. So help a girl out, for free! Blockheads, assemble! Non-Blockheads, also please to assemble. 5 stars. Such a nice number of stars. It helps in obscene ways.

And if you are a Blockhead who did not get my book this weekend, it’s never too late. Anywhere books are sold. Any library! It is there waiting for you to love it, as I dearly believe you will. And after you do, hit me with those five stars, baby. That’s one for every New Kid and a little gold one for you. Almost 19,000 people get this newsletter and if HALF of you did me this free little favor, woooooeeeeeee! That would really be incredible. Thanks for reading, thanks for coming with me on my book tour. Oatmeal for everyone.