I should’ve published these archival gems last month during Knicks-mania but, alas, that time is past. So close your eyes for a second and mentally transport yourself to midnight, June 13, 2026. Recall the shrieks of glee emanating from all corners of New York City. Recall the man who, in celebration, climbed up a lamppost and balanced a TV on his head. Recall the beauty of a common cause binding all New Yorkers, meek and tall. During those first few weeks of June, it could be said that all of New York was infected with… hoop fever.
Hoop fever. The topic of this archival issue, as featured in my college newsletter. What is it? Few understand its causes and even fewer understand its effects.
I wish I could take credit for the discovery of this crippling illness but this research was performed mostly by my fellow scholars, Pat and Sean, in the basement we all lived in together.
Hard to believe these scientific documents were created nearly 10 years ago. But such is life. It keeps going, and going, and you barely notice the time slipping away from you…… until one day, it’s mid-afternoon at your corporate office, and you’re staring at 3 monitors, wishing you had a fourth, while performing various mind-melting operations-related tasks, and wondering how in the hell this became the version of your life you experience every day.
But, nevertheless, for this stupid life I am grateful. Hey, I mean, at least I don’t have….. *throws up* hoop fever.
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