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Signing the wall at Rivian’s Performance House last night, where I recorded with Becs Gentry. The episode will be live this coming Tuesday.

We tend to talk about confidence like it’s a fixed trait—something you either have, or you don’t. Whenever someone asks me “Where do you get your confidence from?” it’s almost implied that it’s something someone just wakes up with. But that question always makes me pause. It catches in my throat a little bit, because if I’m being completely candid with you: I’m not actually that confident. Well, OK. At least, I can question it, sometimes.

Perhaps it’s in how I define it. I have confidence, for sure. I’m good at analyzing the facts. The critical truths that make me who I am and what I have to offer. However, I’m not someone who walks into every room inherently sure of myself. I work hard to put myself at different tables. Candidly, I craft my own damn seat half of the time. And over the years, I’ve come to realize a hard, beautiful truth: I have to be confident. I have to believe in myself. I have to be my own biggest hype woman. Because, well, if I’m not, I can’t expect anyone else to be.

Still. That doesn’t mean the quiet, nagging doubt isn’t there. One of the questions I ask myself—and my friends—whenever we’re worried about something going awry, is this: Do we actually have any evidence that the worst-case scenario is going to happen? More often than not, the answer is no. I myself am especially skilled in thinking of the worst case scenario, and I know better than to let that stop me in my tracks. After my little inner dialogue pep talk happens, I more often than not am ready to take the dive. Not because I started out confident, but because I have the proof that every single time I’ve tried something that felt like a risk in the past, I was better off for it. And if I wasn’t (at least in a measurable way)—I was at the very worst, back to where I started—which is never really that bad.

Why am I telling you this, on this particular Friday, you ask? Well, because we need to talk about YouTube.

It’s one thing to put your voice out into the world on a podcast, or your words onto a screen in a newsletter. It’s another thing entirely to put your face, your mannerisms, and your raw, unedited energy onto a video platform.

I am incredibly proud of who I am.
I am so deeply proud of the woman I am becoming.
I am proud of the work that I do.
I am proud of the effort that I give.

I am not always the most confident person in the room. I do get butterflies. I have doubts. I hesitate before I hit “publish.” But I damn well will always show up.

The fear of the critique, the fear of the comment section, the fear of not being “ready” or “polished” enough—it’s kept me paralyzed in moments. But then I always get to the tipping point where I ask myself: Am I going to let fear make my decisions for me?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I refuse to stand in my own way.

Deep down, I know that expanding into video and going to YouTube isn’t just about trying a new medium. It’s about broadening this community. It’s about opening up doors of opportunity that I can’t even see yet. Most of all, it pushes me entirely out of my comfort zone—and historically, stepping into the uncomfortable is the one thing that has never, ever let me down.

A long time ago, I had to accept a vital truth: I cannot be the person for everyone. But! I can be the person for some people. I can show up for the people who might actually benefit from the energy, the lessons, and the essence that I try to put out into the universe every single day.

So, speaking of showing up! I’m officially getting out of my own way. I am so incredibly excited (and, yes, certainly a bit terrified) to share that the Hurdle YouTube channel is officially live.

Watch 5-MINUTE FRIDAY here

We are taking these conversations, these moments, and this community to a whole new dimension. I’m bringing you along for the ride in a way I never have before—and I would love nothing more than to have you there with me from day one. It won’t be everything all at once—as you can imagine, posting a 5-MINUTE FRIDAY episode is a lot easier than sharing Tuesday’s guests slots. But, the goal is to get everything there … with time.

Thank you for always being the community that makes the scary leaps feel worth taking. So, here we go. Let’s do this.

Keep hurdling,

Quietly Terrified: The Art of Looking Brave

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