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Last week, the air quality index in New York was obscene. As much as I love a little outdoor pavement therapy, I love my lungs a whole lot more. Like, on Wednesday, I had a headache within three minutes of stepping outside. SO! Come the weekend when I had a 19-mile long run on deck (Sydney Marathon, T-minus 37 days but who’s counting?), I did what any slightly unhinged marathoner in the middle of a big training block would do (read: “any” is a questionable word choice there). I laced up, put my electrolytes in my water bottle, and went to the gym to get on the treadmill.
I too began questioning this choice pretty quickly.
Although when I arrived I wasn’t totally decided I was going to aim to conquer the whole shebang, I did have my eye on conquering 10+ miles at least. So, I locked onto the treadmill and got to work. And! I did all nineteen miles. One belt. Zero scenery changes.
The final verdict: I can do absolutely anything in this life.
Anyway! This week: A look inside my brain during those three hours. And like I said, again, I’m entirely aware that this was a decision.
Okay. 19 miles. We are doing this. We are brave. We are confident. I do hard things.
Let’s start out nice and easy here. No need to rush.
Did I put on sunscreen? Wait, I’m indoors.
If I look at the time remaining once every minute, this is going to feel like 14 years.
Cover the dashboard with a towel. Will this stay in place? I think it will stay in place.
Towel stays.
I wish they’d put Bravo on the TV instead of Food Network.
Is it warm in here or is it just the existential dread of staring at a mirror for three hours?
These sneakers feel good.
Okay, pace feels good now. We’re moving.
I should’ve brought more Rice Krispies treats.
I love running. Running is my choice. I get to do this.
Unwrapping this RKT while running is an elite skill.
I think this woman two treadmills over is also running long. We’re doing this together. I can’t let her down.
Mile 3, kind of like a quarter of the way there? Sort of? No.
Wait, I’m not running a half marathon. I’m running 19 miles. Or should I cut this at 13?
Stupid air quality.
What should I do for my next manicure?
I wonder if Bathhouse has any availability for this afternoon. (P.S. Tap that link, and you can get 25% off a day pass, too.)
Time for a playlist change. Actually I’m gonna watch a movie.
One treadmill mile is roughly equivalent to 1.4 outdoor miles, three business days, and the entire runtime of “All Too Well” (10-Minute Version).
Is Voicemails For Isabelle too much of a downer for a long run? I’m doing it.
If 2008 Emily could see 2026 Emily running 19 miles on a belt, she’d lose her mind.
What am I eating after this? A massive smoothie.
No, a breakfast burrito.
A breakfast burrito, but with French fries inside it, washed down with an iced matcha and three gallons of ice water.
Am I chafing on the right back side of my sports bra?
I’ll go to the grocery store when I’m done and see what speaks to me.
If the other woman running long steps off before mile 10, I will feel a profound sense of personal betrayal.
The treadmill belt is warm under my feet. Or am I imagining that?
Is my left sock shorter than my right sock?
If I run 13 today then I only have to run 6 tomorrow.
I’ve created a personal tropical storm system in a three-foot radius around this machine.
What is this weird pain in my left knee?
My shorts are soaked. I’m dripping on myself.
What is this man doing on the elliptical? Like, an arm dance? Is that choreography?
What time is the England game today?
Made it to 13.1, why don’t I just get to 15 and see if I can visualize another four miles.
It’s really just like a “casual 6-mile cooldown.”
Calling six miles a cooldown is a delusion, but it’s my delusion.
I should’ve done a high bun for this.
You have no business checking your email right now.
YOU HAVE TO TELL HER ABOUT THE VOICEMAILS.
I lifted the corner of the towel covering the dashboard just to ‘check.’ Huge mistake. Fatal error.
OK, I’m booking Bathhouse.
Eyes straight ahead.
I need to do my eyebrows.
If I can do this, I can do anything.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I need to find some new sports bras.
Is that salt or an eyelash in my eye?
:grabs towel to wipe face, forgets to keep moving feet: OH MY I JUST SLID OFF THE TREADMILL.
I am so lucky I didn’t fall over.
Did anyone see that? How did I not fall over? Am I a gymnast?
I am capable.
Three. More. Miles.
Don’t look at the screen. Look at the wall.
Looking at the screen. Why did I do that?
I need to call my mom.
My legs aren’t even legs anymore. They are just two numb logs operating on sheer stubbornness.
At least there are no hills. But Sydney has so many hills. Ugh. That’s going to be so rough.
I am a machine.
I can do this.
I could really use a massage this week. Or maybe I should go back to physical therapy.
I wish my insurance covered physical therapy.
Finish the job.
LAST MILE.
Have fun with it.
You’re DOING IT.
YOU DID IT.
It’s official: I can do anything in this lifetime.
Mission accomplished. That was fun! (OK, the outcome was fun. The effort, eh.) If you asked me when I stepped into the gym if I was actually going to do the whole prescribed run on a treadmill, I probably would’ve said no. But hitting that stop button after 19 miles was such a grounding reminder of who I am. This story here is about me running on a treadmill, sure. But more than that, it’s just a reminder that we can do hard things. That’s why I run, really. To remember who I am in the difficult moments.
… So much of this journey to the starting line is won between your ears long before you ever step onto the course. It’s about trusting your mindset when the plan shifts. Remembering: I am brave. I am confident. I do hard things.
Keep hurdling,
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What I’m Wearing: Rent the Runway, constantly.
This has been such a life-saver recently, and it’s made getting dressed really fun. Some highlights: The Amur dress I wore last night to my friend’s wedding welcome drinks, and the one I’m wearing to the ceremony tonight. If you use my code “RTRXEABBATE” you can get 60% off your first month of a full closet membership. (Of note, this discount is higher than the onsite promo!)
What I’m Reading: The Missed Connection by Tia Williams
I’ve been on a Tia Williams kick this year, because this woman never disappoints. Downloaded this yesterday, and excited to dive in (AKA, read the entire thing) this weekend.
What I’m Watching: The Ultimatum on Netflix
Got sucked in. Watched the whole thing in three days.
What I’m Excited About: Adobe Premiere
I recently splurged for Adobe Suite (hi, my name is Emily and I’m a nerd) — and this is the first time in a super long time that I’m sitting down to learn the ins and outs of a new computer program. Am I constantly Googling and asking Gemini how to do things? Yes, 100 percent. Here to chat and accepting all tips/tricks from the community. Comment if you have ‘em!
Thoughts and Other Links: USA Track & Field Championships are in full swing at Icahn Stadium in New York, and I’m geeked that it’s here for the first time in 30+ years. It’s also WNBA All-Star Weekend, and I’m geeking out from afar. Thanks so much for all of your support on the launch of Hurdle’s YouTube channel! PLEASE SUBSCRIBE, it would mean the world to me. And! Watch this week’s episode of 5-MINUTE FRIDAY while you’re there. Club Recess sent me this garnet tennis dress, and she’s not only absolutely adorable but also the first one I’ve had that has shorts that are only connected in the front. AKA, you don’t need to get completely undressed to use the bathroom, making it idyllic.
This week, I sat down live at Rivian HQ in New York City with long-time friend of the show, Peloton instructor, and HOKA Global Brand Ambassador Becs Gentry. In front of a live audience, Becs opens up about stepping away from the road-racing spotlight and returning to her trail-running roots as she prepares for two of the biggest, high-altitude, high-heat races of her life. She shares how turning 40 has changed her physical relationship with her body, what diligence looks like while juggling motherhood and a full-time career, and why giving yourself grace to rest is just as important as putting in the miles.
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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered.
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