Thanksgiving in March

If you’re a musician who plays Irish music, the first through seventeenth of March are what one former band member used to refer to as “The High Holy Days.” Even non-Irish venues hire Celtic bands during the St. Patrick’s Day season, resulting in the majority of the year’s income. It’s both fun and frustrating.

I’ve been playing this music since 2007, first with a well-established local group, Jug o’ Punch, and now with The Boston Harbor Bhoys, which I formed with my son and a friend of his when the first band retired after existing for 42 years.

Last year we played a few places that we wouldn’t want to play again. Often, a venue will hire an Irish band because they feel they have to for the holiday, and sometimes there’s a sense that they don’t really want us there. But this year we were lucky. No duds. Even the one restaurant that didn’t fit the usual mold was welcoming and friendly and we were very well-received. We had one gig at the beginning of the month, then five in the three days from the 15th to the 17th. It was draining but fun!

The Bhoys don’t play out that much these days due to my and my son’s roles as caregivers for my wife. But when the offers started coming in for March, I started lining up “sitters” for her so we could get out and play. I’ve always had a hard time asking for help, as many people do, but I sucked it up and sent out the request.

Friends and family stepped up in a big way.

Some of these days required someone to stay from morning until late at night, so I thought I might have some difficulty getting people to commit to that long of a time. I was prepared to sit out some of the performances if I had to.

I needn’t have worried.

My wife is loved. People gladly volunteered to spend time with her. The fact is that, despite her Alzheimer’s, she is still fun and positive and pleasant.

So I was able to play at all the gigs without worry. 

The final gig in particular, in the heart of Boston, made us feel like rock stars. It was at one of the classic Irish pubs, The Green Dragon Tavern. We arrived home that night exhilarated and exhausted.

Now, as I write this a week later, I’ve come to a realization that almost brings me to tears.

As much as these wonderful people love my wife, they didn’t give up their precious time for her.

They did it for me.

They did it so that I could spend some time away from home to do what I most enjoy.

I have never felt so loved.

So, this March, I’d like to express my appreciation for the people in my life, particularly those who covered for me that weekend, but also those special people who have been collaborators, confessors, and shoulders to cry on over the years. Some of you are family, some are friends I’ve known for ages, and some I’ve never even met in person.

I love you all. And I intend to say it more.