My recent introspection regarding my purpose during this phase of my life has led to a number of interesting discoveries.
Today, I want to go deeper into something I realized after writing last week’s post and how it has shifted my thinking.
One of the things I miss most about my career is juggling multiple client projects and speaking engagements. Though the pace was often hectic, I derived a lot of pleasure from keeping it all on track and creating (mostly) successful outcomes.
The truth is I get bored very quickly and lose interest in anything that feels ‘routine’ or ‘obligatory.’ It feels lazy and uncreative to me, so I opt out and search for more stimulating ways to invest my time, effort, and energy.
Impatience, expectations, & persistence…
My impatience with routine activity has haunted me since the day I made the decision to ‘retire.’
I’d never considered how hard it would be to not be juggling multiple objectives on a daily basis.
The emptiness was palpable.
With no problems to solve, no clients to serve, and no prospects to engage with, I felt lost.
And my impatience begged me daily to solve the problem.
Looking back it seems strange I didn’t see that coming.
After all, I’d spent most of my career crafting visions of the next thing, mapping paths for execution of the vision, and coaching people to pursue and achieve it.
Now I just woke up everyday, checked in with myself to confirm what day of the week it was, and pondered how the day would be spent.
It all felt random.
There was no clear next step.
There were no clear options for feeding my need for engagement.
The persistence that had long served me well suddenly seemed to have no place in my days.
Figuring out what’s next takes time…
The aforementioned emptiness that was haunting me has persisted for almost two years now. As one who rarely spent more than a month not working for over four decades it sometimes feels like an eternity.
What I am beginning to learn and working hard to lean into is that it is a natural and normal part of the process.
Major life transitions often come upon us when we are by no means ready for them. There is no warning of their arrival, and the masterful planning and preparing we normally do for big things just doesn’t get done.
Though I was the one who triggered my major transition, I had spent no time pondering what it would look like on the other side.
It’s no wonder I’ve struggled with it:
My impatience makes me think I should have figured it out by now.
The lack of a schedule to guide my days makes boredom a regular reality versus an occasional gift.
My limited experience with such situations feeds my worry about hastily making a wrong decision regarding the path forward.
Choosing to be patiently persistent…(aka the earned lessons from today’s post)
In a couple of weeks I will begin the third year of my retirement.
As I work to formally define my purpose for this phase of my life, I am certain of one thing—it will continue to be focused on sharing stories to help others navigate their lives.
The most likely form it will take is writing regular posts on Earned Lessons, and perhaps adding a podcast where we can exchange ideas and help even more people.
The key to making it work is making the conscious choice to be patiently persistent in defining the path from here.
What that means for me is…
Giving myself permission to take my time in letting things unfold and trusting the universe will guide me to where I am supposed to be.
Sharing my experiences freely and candidly in the hope they might help others who are experiencing (or planning for) major life transitions.
Being more intentional about creating a rhythm for my life that serves me in this new phase (and keeps the demons at bay).
Enjoying this phase of life by celebrating the things I have accomplished so far, creating and sharing new insights in service to others, and finding peace of mind with where I am on my journey today (instead of worrying why I am not further along).
MH
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