Her breath on my bones

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Happy New Moon in Leo to all at 10:37 am PST, with a total solar eclipse (visible in the arctic)… and sending love to all affected by recent horrific wildfires. Stay safe everyone! May we cool the fires smouldering within…

Today, I wish to tell you about a very visceral, vivid dream I had once, about a certain bear… here’s the scene…

I’m standing on a large deck of an old rickety house, deep in the forest. I know I wasn’t alone, ‘cause there were a bunch of people gathered about, around the house.

Suddenly someone shouts out…

“Hey you, watch it, don’t let ‘that’ bear get up on the deck!”

I look over to where they’re pointing… to one large, black bear, nose to the ground, swaying back and forth, moving slowly towards the house! Its thick, long fur glistening in the morning sun, rolling over an immense frame as it plodded along.

Making myself small, hunched low, I scooted as fast as I could, over and across, to the gate. I could see that the bear was inching even closer.

Trembling, I frantically fumbled with the gate’s latch over and over… I couldn’t seem to get it closed, let alone secured. Time stood still. With a sense of urgency and frustration, I finally got the latch to catch. At least, I thought I did… when,

The scene shifts… and,

With little effort, the bear noses the gate and barrels through, climbing up onto the deck... heading my way!

Holding my breath, on all fours, backwards, I gingerly inch myself back to the rear-most corner, praying it hadn’t seen me. I whisper inaudibly to myself,

“I’m invisible… i, i , um… you can’t see me...”

It was obvious that I’d failed with the latch… ugh.

Scene morphs again…

Big mama bear is right over me, leaning her heft, hard and heavy… pressing her long snout all over my head, neck and shoulders. Frozen with absolute terror, my arms attempt to shield my head… i don’t dare breathe out loud. Her hot, musky breath, snorting, short huffs engulf me. Her dripping, snuffling nose probing every inch of my ears, hair and face, sniffing fiercely, as if searching or longing for something… breathing me in, again and again. Her course long whiskers grating against my face.

My whole being wants to flee and run as I hold myself in a tight ball. She kept sniffing relentlessly, now rooting down and around my petrified body and quivering legs.

Sweating bricks, numb with panic, she growls deeply as if she senses my tense anxiety… then…out of nowhere, a thought arose…

“If I could just breathe, relax… and chill… maybe this horror would stop and go away.”

Nope. She wasn’t letting up… sniffing… snorting... grunting... I could hear her huge claws clicking and scraping on the deck as I shook uncontrollably deep inside me, I didn’t dare utter a peep or a whimper. I had to take a big breath, when…

The scene changes again…

Mama’s thick black fur shifts to a creamy-white and then back, to midnight black again. At last, her intense sniffing finally stops, sways her head left, then right… as she gently lays her head on my lap, as if to rest. Her laser orange, round eyes catch mine as I carefully peek out in repose. I sense a different kind weight of her, upon me now… We both breathe a huge sense of relief.

as the scene morphs to… well,

Meanwhile, just out of my peripheral vision, two small animals like badgers appear on either side of me, stretching up like a shot on their hind legs, each at the side of my head, sniffing at and in my ears… as if they were sucking something heavy out. Following that, they dissolve up and away like a vaporous cloud.

And, then …

Three big black dogs jump up onto the deck, take notice of me in the corner…

I wake up with a start, covered in beads of cold sweat!

…end of dream…

……………..

I shared my dream with a good friend and he offered some animistic insight, of which I found very helpful at the time. Here’s some of the symbolism he shared:

• The Bear in some traditions represents personal medicine + spiritual gifting

• The House can represent my spiritual path or life

• The Gate on the deck are limitations that have been placed on that path

In the dream, the house is old and rickety which perhaps has been there for a long while, a path that has been developed over time. There is a gate that blocks and limits access to the house. Sometimes the gate is open, then other times it’s closed to keep the “bad” or the fearful out. At that moment, in the dream, I’m trying desperately to close that gate without success, to keep that bear out. Perhaps, I was attempting to limit the gift of medicine on my path. (At the time, this wasn’t a conscious effort).

Despite my best efforts to keep the bear out, the bear gets past the gate and past the limitations that have been placed in its path.

The good news is that the medicine continues to morph throughout, the bear changes from a common black bear to a cream-white Kermode or Spirit bear and back again to black. Still, the black bear looks very different where, now the bear lays its head gently upon my lap… with no fear, only love, peace and tranquility, even though bears are huge and powerful.

My friend suggested I connect with the Spirit of Bear to help assist me spiritually, to build a relationship with… and,

It’s interesting to note, that…

Not long after that dream, a physical black bear paid me a visit while I was parking my car. I had just gotten home after shopping for some groceries. I was getting out of the car when a black bear came trotting right out of the forest towards me on the street... and we shared quite ‘the hello’…

It was a brief encounter though, quite the exciting one. I was so taken with her size, beauty, grace and particularly, how fast she moved = whoa!

I didn’t think much of that encounter at the time, though I know deep inside my heart, that I had yet, received another sweet blessing.

And I continue to stand in wonder and awe.

And… a poem… x

You’re invited to
  walk with Mother Bear
  into Her dark, soft, furred places
  where the unseen gathers,
  and a quiet calm grows.
Rest within Her dear round arms,
  feel Her slow rhythm
  of ancient bones
  and hallowed breath.
     Rise again
        bearing the ancient song
        of wild knowing,
and gentle power.
—weaver © 2026

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