This past weekend a longtime friend and I took a trip to Iowa to visit another dear friend, Marvin, who’s been battling blood cancer for more than a year. We didn’t tell anyone we were coming. We just got on a plane Thursday morning and flew into Omaha, Nebraska, rented a car, and drove to Pocahontas, Iowa.
I had never heard of Pocahontas before last week. The “Princess City” is a small town, population 1,867, and is in the middle of nowhere — covered in the most beautiful corn and soybean fields for miles. Pocahontas is surrounded by more of the same small towns. There’s no fast food, no fake folks, just genuine, kind, good hearted people.
Eleven and a half hours later we were walking into Marvin’s hospital room. The room was filled with family members — a sister, brothers, an auntie, and his son — all staring at us as we entered the room, wondering who these two strangers were.
But by the time we reached Marvin’s bedside, he smiled, we hugged and explained to everyone who we were. Soon enough we were part of the family, hugging and reminiscing, each of us sharing our special memories.
We prayed we wouldn’t arrive too late. We knew his health had taken a turn for the worse, but our prayers were answered. It was important to us to be there, especially to the friend I travelled with, as she and her late husband had been friends with Marvin for a very long time.
We wanted to see Marvin, to say goodbye.
We spent as much time with him as we could, even sneaking in an extra visit on Saturday before driving back to Omaha to catch our flight. We were so glad we did. We arrived early by hospital visitation standards, but Marvin and his brother were sitting up watching TV. My friend gave him some photos and I could see they brought them both a joyous moment.
Marvin has never met a stranger. He is a much loved and respected man. Even though sad, it felt good to be there with him, to say goodbye and give him our final hugs.
When the good Lord finally calls Marvin home, he will be missed by the many people his life has touched. He always lent a helping hand, whatever the need, and would literally give you the shirt off his back — and I’m sure he has a time or two.
The world is a better place because Marvin is here. He will one day be greatly missed, but he will leave an amazing legacy behind.
The current country music hit McArthur, performed by Hardy, Eric Church, Tim McGraw, and Morgan Wallen, and written by Hardy, Chase McGill, Jameson Rodgers, and Josh Thompson, tells a story of legacy through what a fictional family leaves behind across generations. Each singer steps into the role of a family member passing down the legacy of their farmland to the next generation. The song poses a timeless question: when you pass on, what will you pass down?
Marvin won’t pass down generational farmland, but he will leave behind a legacy of love, family, charity, and hope for future generations to do the same. Just as the song depicts, it’s not necessarily about the wealth we leave behind as our legacy, but rather our values and our hope for the future of those we leave behind.
Saying Goodbye is Never Easy
We learned this week that Marvin has elected to enter hospice care. We knew it was the next step, but it was still hard to hear. We learned while we were there that the cancer had metastasized to his lungs, making it impossible for him to have the bone marrow transplant they had been hoping for. Now there was nothing more the doctors could do, and Marvin is tired — it’s time to let go.
Saying our final goodbyes is never easy, but it is necessary. We’ve all had our fair share of goodbyes, but we can’t let that stop us from facing our future farewells. One day it will be me taking my last breaths as I wait for God to call me home, and I know I’ll cherish all the goodbyes from those I’ve loved and who have loved me back.
I could see on Marvin’s face how much he appreciated us being there — especially the friend I travelled with, as they have a very long history of friendship between them, and her late husband as well. I’ve only known Marvin for a short twenty years.
It is hard to say goodbye, but necessary. Don’t let your sorrow keep you from precious moments you can never get back. And take the time now to consider the legacy you will leave behind. If you’ve lived your life like our friend Marvin, you’ll be leaving a legacy of love, charity, and hope. If not, it’s not too late to reconsider.
Ask yourself — when I pass on, what will I pass down?
Thank You for being a part of Planting Seeds for Health & Happiness
I’d love to hear your thoughts, please join the discussion on saying our final goodbyes and passing down our legacy. Just click on the leave a comment button. Let’s keep this conversation going…
If you’d rather not share your thoughts online but would like to engage in the conversation with me, you can do so by emailing me. Just click on the email button below. I will respond to your email.
When your family gathers for dinner tonight, remember the dinner table is a No Phone Zone! Start a conversation about the people you love, and why you are happy to be a part of their lives. Everyone eats, participates, and listens to each other’s stories.
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