Last year at this time I was writing about how important self-care is to us achieving MonuMENTAL Health. Yet a year later, I continue to discover the idea of practicing self-care remains foreign to most of the people I talk to.
So, clearly, I need to do a better job of helping everyone — and I mean everyone — understand that self-care is not an act of selfishness, it’s an act of necessity and honestly, the only way to avoid feelings of overwhelm and burnout.
Here’s what I had to say last year…
And before I get back to self-care and how vitally important it is to our MonuMENTAL Health…
Here’s how I define MonuMENTAL Health.
I think of achieving MonuMENTAL Health as living life harmoniously in mind, body, and soul. Finding equilibrium in all aspects of our lives.
Our ability to achieve MonuMENTAL Health resides within each of us. But it becomes part of our consciousness when we listen to and trust our own voice, not our neighbor’s, or the latest influencer, trend, or hack.
For me, that quieter voice is grounded in the things that don’t trend — faith, family, and community. You don’t have to share these anchors to achieve MonuMENTAL Health; you only have to be willing to listen for what anchors you.
I also want to be clear about what it is not. It is not a destination we arrive at. We don’t wake up one day and say I’m there, I’ve achieved MonuMENTAL Health and I’m done, I’m good.
No!
Put simply, our MonuMENTAL Health is there waiting for us to become aware and embrace our unique calling in life and live accordingly.
Each of us has distinct fingerprints — not even identical twins have the same fingerprints. I find that to be amazing, and definitely a God thing! We are such unique works of art.
I think of MonuMENTAL Health in much the same way. It’s our internal fingerprint, if you will — our mind, body, and soul, interconnected and experiencing what Hungarian American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined as “flow.”
You may have heard of this psychological term “flow” — a cognitive state we enter when we’re fully immersed in an activity. Csikszentmihalyi defined this in his book Flow as a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter.
Living life immersed in our individual gifts, talents, and thoughts, with our hearts and souls focused on what gives our lives meaning and purpose, is the fast track to MonuMENTAL Health.
If instead we waste our time and energy on comparing our lives to others, chasing someone else’s dreams, or conquering the latest algorithm, it’s likely we’ll never attain MonuMENTAL Health. After all, we are meant to be who “we” are, not who “others” are.
Self-care is key to MonuMENTAL Health!
Self-care is our active involvement in safeguarding our health and happiness. It is the gateway to our well-being, and requires that we do those things that refresh, recharge, revive, and sustain us. It’s also equally important to note that self-care is not the same for everyone. It is like our fingerprints — self-care is unique to each of us.
I get an hour and a half full-body therapeutic massage every other week as part of my self-care routine. At my most recent appointment, while talking with my therapist, I was telling her that when my husband and mom were both very ill with cancer, I hired a housekeeper to relieve me and my sister from those duties.
My middle sister had graciously agreed to move in with us to help me with our mom, and once we had two cancer patients we were stretched to the max. Trying to care for them, get to doctor appointments, keep track of medications, keep up with housework, laundry, cooking, yard work, the garden, pool, two dogs, and of course our full-time respective jobs, became overwhelming.
Something had to give, and it was my wallet — but worth every penny!
I commented that the housekeeper, and later the pool guy that I hired, was part of my self-care plan. Notice, I again said part — there’s much more.
During our conversation my massage therapist told me that when her lease is up, she’s moving her therapy room to her home in November, and she’s going to hire a housekeeper with the money she saves on rent.
You don’t know this woman, but I’ll share with you that she is a wife and a mother of two sons. Her oldest just graduated from college and her youngest has special needs after being a victim of shaken-baby syndrome 17 years ago when he was a baby.
That alone would have destroyed many families. But not hers. She and her husband are amazing people with hearts full of love — genuinely good people. However, they often run short on self-care, as you might imagine. I reminded her the new housekeeper will be part of her self-care.
She hesitated for a moment and then said, “And it’ll be a tax write-off.” I said yes, a twofer — and we both had a good laugh!
Finally, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, there’s a reason why the flight attendant on the plane taking us to our next business meeting, or that much needed vacation, explains to us every single time we’ve found our seats on the aircraft, that should we experience a change in cabin pressure, to place our oxygen mask on first before we attempt to help anyone else.
Why?
If we don’t, we’ll likely be dead, and won’t be able to help anyone.
Self-care is like that — maybe not as dramatic, but life without self-care results in overwhelm, anxiety, depression, burnout, and could even result in death.
Ok, I’ve said the “d” word — do I have your attention now?
Good.
I want those of you who continue to think that self-care is acting selfishly to STOP! It is not selfish! Self-care is essential and necessary if we are going to have a life filled with health and happiness.
Ask yourself when was the last time you did something just for you, that helped you feel rested, relaxed, re-energized? If your answer is never, or you can’t remember, it’s time to get serious. It’s time to reflect, do some soul searching, and determine what you need before it’s too late and you’re running on fumes, having to force yourself out of bed in the morning.
Here is what I suggest. Figure out what care you need. If you’re married, talk to your spouse and figure out what you both need individually, write it all down, and then get out your calendars. Start scheduling self-care. No matter what it looks like, put it on your calendars.
And remember self-care is any thing or activity that helps you feel healthy and happy — it won’t be the same for both of you, or anyone else, and that’s okay.
If you want to experience harmony, achieving MonuMENTAL Health isn’t far from your grasp if you’ll just take care of yourself.
Commit to putting your oxygen mask on first, before helping anyone else. You’ll be so glad you did.
And if you’re ever in the West Valley of the greater Phoenix area, schedule a full-body massage with my therapist — her work is life changing.
Thank You for being a part of Planting Seeds for Health & Happiness
I’d love to hear your thoughts, please join the discussion about self-care and achieving MonuMENTAL Health. Just click on the leave a comment button. Let’s keep this conversation going…
If you’d rather not share your thoughts online but would like to engage in the conversation with me, you can do so by emailing me. Just click on the email button below. I will respond to your email.
When your family gathers for dinner tonight, remember the dinner table is a No Phone Zone! Start a conversation about what helps you relax and re-energize! Everyone eats, participates, and listens to each other’s stories.
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