The ‘back to school essentials’ most parents miss (but your child will notice)

I read once somewhere that the most important day of school isn’t graduation, but the first day they start. While this feels a little extreme, I think it’s probably true. The first year of a child’s school experience matter in helping them feel a sense of belonging and safety and give them a curiosity for learning. When children feel all these things, the ‘going to school’ gets easier.

It’s 2 weeks away from ‘back to school’ and despite the long summer, it feels like it has creeped up fast. It’s my 4^th year of ‘back to school’ and my second time helping a little one ‘start school’. I feel a huge mix of emotions and they shift day to day. Despite having done this before I am not finding it easier. Whatever you are feeling right now, I want you to know it’s normal. I will be focusing on ‘separation’ and how to navigate your child’s tears at drop off in an upcoming newsletter.

Back to school is often a time when parents get bombarded with ‘things to buy’ or ‘things to do’ but if there is one big lesson I want to pass on to you it’s this: The most important part of starting school (and getting back to it after the school holidays), isn’t the ‘back-to-school’ stuff like their rucksack, water bottle, or new shoes. It’s how children experience their first day at school.

Children don’t come home after their first day at school and say: “My socks were itchy all day” or “I was worried you wouldn’t come back to pick me up”. What you see after school is: grumpiness, irritability, tears, emotional outbursts, loss of appetite, struggles at bedtime and a need for more physical comfort from you. All of this is part of adjusting to the experience of going to school and building familiarity with children and adults, and you can make little tweaks to shrink these stressors and increase your child’s comfort, confidence and openness to learn in the classroom. Because a child who feels comfortable and safe is better able to listen, digest, and absorb information than one who feels discomfort and whose brain is on high alert for survival.

In todays newsletter for paid subscribers I am focusing on the most overlooked back-to-school essentials that most parents miss but often make the biggest difference to a child’s day. I am breaking this down for you into sections:

Comfort – Why prioritising comfort matters. And what that looks like in practice.

Predictability – The only 3 things you need to create a predictable routine that helps your child feel safe.

Independence – The small things that will make your child feel capable and grow their confidence before they sit in their classroom.

Communication – The areas you can focus on now and how to build them. (Part 2 on ‘emotional literacy’ coming up in the Autumn for you just before half-term to support transition).