I Believe in Abundance and Still Deal With Scarcity. Here Is What I've Learned.

If I had it my way, I would keep this picture-perfect life available for all to see and hide everything I struggle with inside. It is how I operate as an extremely private person and a Capricorn moon. I truly keep things I struggle with sooo close to my heart. I remember my best friend saying after I left the last relationship that I did not tell her anything I was dealing with, and the truth is I likely didn’t.

Not because I meant to keep it from her, but because I am someone who needs to process things in order to share them, and when I don’t have a lot of time to process my life, it is really difficult for me to share. I have a Capricorn Stellium in the 12th house, which lends to this sort of private emotional processing away from the noise.

But life is different now; I do have time…. sooo much time actually to share what I am experiencing in my day-to-day, to write about it, and be vulnerable about where I am at in my journey.

It’s not all roses and daisies.

In fact, financially, since I left my job last November, I have had to grow A LOT. I can chalk it up to my Saturn Return in the 2nd House in Pisces, which basically means a hard lesson on my self-worth and financial resources in the sign of a dreamy and intangible water energy. That about sums up this transition.

So for everyone wondering what I had to move through to leave my profession as a physician and become a paid writer and creator, I am spelling it out below. The truths, the work I did with my therapist, the realizations that kept me stuck and immobilized, and everything I needed and still need to do to build this life that you all see inside of A Black Woman’s Apothecary.

I have dealt with scarcity, not enoughness wounding, resources running dry, etc., and I am sharing how I moved through ALL of that to get to where I am now. Which, by the way, IS NOT PERFECT. I am absolutely not perfect when it comes to finances and money and just life in general; I am still learning, and I am doing all of that alongside you.

That is actually why this post feels sooo relevant, because it isn’t from the other side; I actually am still very much moving through struggles. I feel like because I write a lot about living your dream life and the importance of living in alignment, people assume I have all the answers. I actually don’t, but I do know what has worked for me and what my biggest struggles are. So hopefully with me sharing below, I help you feel less alone, more seen, and more inspired to keep going anyway - just like I am doing!!

Because I am naturally more private, I am gonna hide this behind a paywall. I’m going deep into my experience and what I’ve been moving through, and it honestly just feels safer to be able to do that in a space where there is a barrier to entry. I’m getting specific about the numbers on Substack and in my savings, so it makes sense for me to keep this more private. If you want to see more of this content, comment below and I’ll make a point to include it more often inside of A Black Woman’s Apothecary.