Live with Dr Alla Demutska
A recording from Dr Alla Demutska's live video
Dr Alla Demutska
Clinical Psychologist. 15+ years across Australia, Singapore and Bali. I work ▎ with women in the second half of life. Trauma-informed, nervous-system-aware.
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Is This My Brain, Or Is This My Life?
Perimenopause, capacity, and the hardest question of this decade - what will pass, and what is asking to change.
The Explanation That Arrives First
I lost a word while teaching and had an explanation for it within seconds. It was the wrong one, and the speed of it is doing more damage to women’s careers than the symptom ever did.
Perimenopausal Rage Isn't a Glitch. It's an Audit.
The explosion comes over something small. What it carries has been collecting for years. Hormones explain the force of it - not the content.
When You Understand the Pattern and Still Repeat It
Insight is one of the most painful experiences in therapy. You can see exactly what you are doing and your body still does the thing. Here is why understanding is not the same as change.
Start Here
What this column is, who it’s for, and how to send me a question.
When Midlife Ends a Friendship
A woman told me she had lost most of her friends and could not work out what she did wrong. She had not done anything wrong. She had changed the terms.
When the Critic Starts Sounding Like Your Therapist
My critic used to call me lazy and worthless. After years of work, those sentences are gone. The voice that replaced them has been much harder to notice.
You caused harm. That doesn’t make you what you fear you became.
A letter on perimenopausal rage, marriage, and the difference between hurting someone and being someone who hurts
Heal Before Relationship, or Through It?
The advice that you must heal first before entering a relationship sounds responsible. It is also, in important ways, incomplete. Here is what the neurobiology actually suggests.